hiayo joan my dear ah (: why become so sad again ): see la, make me sad.

you can't feel it? i shall show it to you (: the warmth and the love i found, and i'm sure you'll see it too (:

this world seems unfeeling, oh-so-cold, and well, everyone is so caught up, with no one but themselves. isn't that so true? but hey, open your eyes just a little wider (: and you'll see, that, well joan, there's so much more to this world than it's appearence. warmth and love, is not something that has to be oh-so-big, neither does it have to be something so complicated. you know, i remember you once said, an sms from him in the morn does make a difference. and well, i don't know, but maybe, just maybe that's warmth. cause everyday new day, every day, every time i feel down, his voice is always there to cheer me up, and give me a warmth in my heart, cause i know he's alright (: see, warmth isn't that complicated after all. my dear, you have many things i have lost. you have your friends (: their every word to you, they're every i love you, joan, they mean it. although it may have no more meaning to you, they mean it (: and when they say i love you to you, they mean it (: that's love baby (: when you go into class every morning, when they say "morning joan!" or when you were away, those tags on your boards, hey, we both saw it all. and well, that's love babe (: that's love. it doesn't have to be so big, that you get so moved, but if you look with a loving heart, these things are actions of love (: and hey, what's love! you tell me about it. you used to say how'd he keep his promises, how'd he always be there and just to wait for him. well, he died for you and me (: what greater love can there be that a man lay down his life for me (: you know? he loves you joan, so much more than you can imagine. when you're down, he's gonna pick you up. when you're dry he's gonna fill your cup (: he loves you even if your hair is messy, even if your make up runs. he loves you even when your clothes don't match, even if one day you become the ugliest person on earth (nah, you won't), he'll still be your oh so loving abba father (: forever there for you, to listen and to guide you. gosh, that's love (: that he'd never give up on us, no matter how many times we've given up on him.

your i love you may mean nothing, but hey, mine does. and when i said i love you, i mean it (: i told you right joan, i love you last night (: and i shall tell you what i mean when i say it (:

why i mean it when i say i love joan;
i mean it, cause she first learnt how to love me (:
i mean it, cause she first was there to listen, to guide me (:
i mean it, cause she never failed to cheer me up after the tears on saturday (:
i mean it, cause she told me everythng would be okay, and i don't know why, but i believed things would be okay (:
i mean it, cause she's always been such a joy to me, that without her, i don't know where'd i be (:
i mean it, cause she's always been there to encourage me, to never give up, that gave me the strength to hold on (:

what i mean when i say i love joan;
-what i mean is, that when you have any problem, i can't promise i can solve it, but i can promise i'll do my best to do the sums, even if it takes me all my life (:
-what i mean is, when you're down, don't hide it from me, afraid that it'd make me upset myself, but share it with me, cause i can't promise i can make the sadness go away, but i can promise that i'd understand, i promise that i would share your pain (:
-what i mean is, if one day, everyone gives up on you, if one day everyone despises you, i'll be there to stand up for you and pull you back up cause i love you (:
-what i mean is, if one day you do something not right, i'll not hestitate but tell you, not cause i want to hurt you, but cause i love you and i don't want you to get hurt in the end (:
-what i mean is, when you look your worst, when you look like some kinda freaky person, when everyone gives you that wierd look, i'll bring you to public, and there, i'll say it out loud, i love joan! cause i love you for your inside (:
-what i mean is, that i'll always be here for you, even when i'm down, even when i'm happy. i'll always be here to listen to your joy, listen to the stories of your gay friends, listen to how your day was, listen to your accomplishments, listen to your dissapointments, cause hey, i love you and i want to be a part of your life (:
-what i mean is, if one day you're un-confident of yourself, i will be confident of you cause i know, i know what a great person you are. and if one day you were to doubt that yourself, i'll shake you, hug you, and tell you straight in the eye, what a wonderful person you are and always will be (:
-what i mean is, i'll share with you my darkest deepest secrets, cause hey i love you and i want you to know what's going on in my mind (:
-what i mean is...

if i were to go on, it'd take forever (: cause joan, love can't be written in words (: you gotta understand that. no amount of "i love yous" can show love, cause to be truthful they're only words. but what i mean when i say i love you, is that i'm always here for you (:

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JOAN (: