i am angry.

you take me like your servants. when you need me to play a game, just cause you need four players, you beg me. and when i say i don't feel like playing, you accuse me of being a sore loser. you say i'm stupid. but ever thought about it this way? when you don't need four players, and i want to play, you never let me play. how would you feel? it's like i'm just your spare tyre. for you to use at your whim and fancy. well, i shall say this, i'm not your spare tyre. i'm not. so accept it (: thankyouverymuch

okay i wanted to blog about teens (:
i read a book while my mum and i were stuck in church waiting for my bros to finish their english tuition. and we talked, talked about love. not bgr that kinda love, but love between parents and their kids i guess. talked about the love languages. and i realised, well mine is words, affirmation and actions. i guess i am born to need people to tell me what they feel, tell me how much i mean to them, tell me how important i am. kind of childish, but i was born this way i guess (: and actions, i can't stand people who just talk without doing anything. when you promise me you'd do soemthing, do it (: cause if not i'll be angry (: yeah, that's why actions do matter. cause actions are most imporant than words now, aren't they. yep (: and so that's my love language.
you know, my mom said something, which i find it to be so true. we, tend to wallow ourselves in self pity. we expect that the world stop for us when we're sad, we expect people to be sad when we're sad, we expect them to be so affected by our moods. and well, the painful truth is that most of the time that's not the case. and when we feel "let down" that they don't react they way we expect them to, it makes us more sad. and this is just such a vicious cycle that we put ourselves into, something we don't even have to be in. we tend to look at the negative side of things. we tend to make that one thing that is going wrong seem connected to everything in our life. we make ourselves seem so pathetic and hope by doing so everyone will give us their attention. but hey, not everyone really cares, and that's the stupid truth. so i have learnt, if that one thing is going wrong, it's an oppurtunity to learn, to learn from your mistake, to never ever do it again. and if things go right, hey, well done (: cause you got it right the first time. but don't let that one failure stop you cause if that does, you are not gonna survive this life cause this life is going to put you through so many failures. you've gotta learn how to stand up on your feet yourself. it's true that people do care about you, but you can't expect them to be there forever. lean on yourself (: lean on god. cause no one else is more dependable. he will never let you down, ever.

great is thy faithfulness
o god my father
there is no shadow of
turning with thee
thou changest not
thy compassion, they fail not
as thou hast been
thou forever will be

great is thy faithfulness
great is thy faithfulness
morning by morning
new mercies i see
all i have needed
thy hand hath provided
great is thy faithfulness
lord, unto me

summer and winter
and spring time and harvest
sun, moon and star
in their courses above
join with all nature
in manifold witness
to thy great faithfulness
mercy and love

pardon for sin
and a peace that endureth
thy own dear presence
thy own dear presence
to cheer and to guide
strength for today
and bright hope for tomorrow
blessings all mine
with ten thousand beside

there you go (: a nice song to assure you, god is always and forever with you (:

and one more thing, nothing's gonna change my love for you oswald (: