Friday, June 09, 2006 @3:16 PM

I don’t know how to put this, I feel so bad. So utterly bad that I have failed you time and time again. I let go of “us” just cause I couldn’t stand up to a little testing from others. I let go of “us” just cause I couldn’t take it. I let go of “us” just cause I was too weak. I didn’t even think about your feelings. I’m sorry. And today I was thinking what a joy you have been to have, the many things you did for me. and then, I started to think of what I have done for you, just what have I done for you. and I was stuck. I couldn’t think of anything. Except for breaking your heart time and time again, what have I done for you, to make you happy? No, I couldn’t think of anything. I always wanted people to make you happy for me, I could tell them what to do, but when it comes to myself, I don’t know how to make you happy. I don’t know. All I really do now, is just to listen to you everyday. On what’s in your life, but why can’t I do something more for you. I want to be that person who will cheer you up, but how. I don’t know. You do it so easily for me, but yet I can’t do it for you ): I’m sorry. And maybe that’s why I don’t feel secure. Cause I know what a failure I’ve been as a stead. And well, now I shall take the courage and say, that if one day you can find someone who can make you happier, then I will willingly let you go, cause I just want you to be nothing more than happy.

Sometimes, I just want to spend time alone with you, just you and me. with no one else around. Maybe it’ll be scary for both of us, maybe it won’t. but I just want to be with you and no one else for once. It may not be possible given both our strict parents, but hey, one day I’ll try to make it possible. One day I will. Where it’ll be just you and me and no one will be able to say what you are or what I am, where no one will say what influence we’ll have on each other, where no one can say anything about us. Cause it’ll just be you and me (:

I just want to say that I’m sorry, cause I have no way of making you happy. But I just want you to know, that deep inside my heart, I really do want you to be happy above any other thing. Seeing you smile, hearing you laugh, is something I treasure so much, the most prized thing I can ever have, is the memory of your smile, the recording of your laughter (:

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CHARIS;

life ain't always about receiving, it's more about giving.

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prayers since 280606

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