Friday, July 07, 2006 @9:01 AM

i talked to you last night, and i felt really sorry. i never knew you had so many problems, why didn't you tell me before? why didn't you let me go through it with you ):

i know now, that you have your insecurities, you try to cope with them, but nothing's going right now. i know, i really do. and all that you're going through, i've been there too. i know it's not easy, i will not say i felt exactly the same way, but the hurt, it's the same. i may not know everything, cause you kept saying you were alright, but i know deep inside, the hurt and the pain.

when you said no one was proud of you, i was stunned. you know, i am. i can say this, I CHARIS LEONG AM PROUD OF YOU. i really am. i mean, so what if your studies are crapped up, there were many a times in other things that you did me real proud (: like the many examples i gave you last night, your cross country, your napfa, but you know what's the thing that makes me real proud? it's your courage and your determination to change for the better (: really, it makes me feel so proud of you. i mean, everyone makes mistakes now and then in life, cause no one's perfect, but it's how we learn and change after those mistakes that make us who we are. and you are changing yourself for the better, and it's not easy, but you're doing it cause you know it's good. and i'm proud of you for that (:

when you said no one appreciates you, i almost wanted to cry. you mean, you don't see how much i appreciate you? when you said only 2 people appreciate you, i really wanted to cry. it can't be only two people who appreciate you, it can't be. you have so much to appreciate. your skills in your guitar, your singing, your basketball pro-ness (: there's so much more. and that's only on the outside, your character, your inner heart, the more i appreciate. i know, some things you do, they don't seem pleasent to others, but when you explain it to me, i see the efforts to try to improve that person's life. and sometimes, yes, you don't do it the right way but i see your heart, and i know your intentions. and i appreciate them (: and i appreciate your efforts alot. your efforts in trying to change, in trying to study, in trying to be a better person. i know, i really do, that it's very difficult, and i appreciate you for trying (:

don't compare yourself with others. "for you are jewel, you're a treasure. you are one of a kind and you shine just as bright as the stars in the sky. you're a rare kind of wonder, created just right. so keep your head up no matter the pain, theres nothing about you thats plain." remember this song? yes, now apply it to yourself. you're a jewel, and there's nothing about you that's plain. there are things in you, which your brother and sis don't have. you have a character different from theirs, and it just takes certain people to appreciate it. yes, in studies they may be better than you, but so what. like what i said, is studies really that important? you know from the start, education means nothing to me. it's the character that does. i don't know much about your sis, but i know your bro. and if you ask me, which i prefer, you or him, i'd truthfully say i prefer you. cause i don't have a single idea what's going on in his mind, and i see the way he treats you, yeah, there are good times, but when he's in a bad mood, how does he treat you? not so good. and so, i really would rather have a friend like you than him. see? you don't compare yourself with them in the things that they are better, look beyond the wordly skills, look into your heart. and you'll see how really beautiful your heart is (:

people don't treat you like trash, you understand me? cause when i pick up my phone, you're the first i sms. you're the first i wanna call. if i treated you like trash would i do that? no, i won't. you're not trash, like what i said, you're a jewel. and jewels surely aren't trash. i don't know why you feel like you're trash, but to me, you're really a wonder, wonder of my life. and even when everyone treats you like trash, and everyone thinks that you're trash, i'll still stick to my thinking, that you're a jewel, cause i've seen the good side in you, and i think it's beautiful (:

and i know how hard you try with your father, i really do. i know it's hard, but think about his feelings would you? if you were him, i'm sure you'd be worried if your son were like you. i mean, to adults, parents, studies matter alot. and that's something you're not that good in, but i'm sure he still loves you and cares for you. i mean, which parent won't love his own kid? if he hadn't loved you, he wouldn't have bought the wallet to say sorry. right? look at things from another point of view, and things can be much better (: i know it isn't easy to look at it from his point, but try. all you need is to try (:

after typing so much, i don't know if it helps you anot, but i just want to say you're not someone who is pathetic, not someone who is trash, not someone who is not appreciated, and i am proud of you (: come what may, i'll stick by you.

i am here for you my friend, i'm just a call away if you need me (:

& about

CHARIS;

life ain't always about receiving, it's more about giving.

more about me @ Friendster
prayers since 280606

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2nd- Jean Tan
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22nd- Jing Wei Durian! (:
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29th- kelly! [:
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August (:
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2nd- Sharmaine Thia
4th- Chua Xin Yi, Yi Yi! (:
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8th- Ling Li Ren, Kenneth Nah
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October (:
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6th- Jared! (:
9th- chelsia
10th- Clare Lim, Alex Lam
13th- lai weng, Lee Pei Yun! (:
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19th- Adam
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26th- Calean
29th- Gail Chong

November (:
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5th- Jane Low
6th- Goh Wee Sian
7th- Aaron Lee
8th- Yiling
10th- Amanda Chong
12th- Woo Mei Shan
14th- elizabeth fong, Zi Hui! [:
15th- Marianne Loh
16th- Ariff
19th- Yeo Hui Ling
22nd- Renee Phua
25th- Isabel Phua, PaulVin, Matthew Leong! (:
27th- Jonathan Chan
29th- Foo Thian Shin

December (:
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6th- Mabel Chan
8th- Afiq
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15th- Fang Ying
22nd- Edrea Chong, Malcolm Tan! (:
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26th- Dorothy Sze
29th- Natalie Phoon, Han Yu! (:
31st- Shanice Sim, Margaux, joanna chan

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