Saturday, July 15, 2006 @9:08 AM

when i said i didn't wanna talk to you before service today, i meant it. but yet, you just couldn't accept my "no" again, now could you. when i wanted to talk about it, you wouldn't. and now that i don't wanna talk about it, you're forcing me to. thanks alot. for i never remember forcing you to talk about it with me when you didn't. it's true that we shouldn't just leave it like that, but i've made my point clear haven't i? so now, i don't see what's there to talk about. now it's just you and your emotions, it's not about me anymore. cause i've sorted mine out, i've made mine clear. it's just that you can't accept it. it's no more talking about "us", but about you, how you feel. and i'm tired. i want to leave it behind, but you keep bringing me back to it. you think it's fun? today, i'll keep my stand firm, i'll keep it the way it is like now. for noting's gonna change my mind.

i feel like crying now. as i had that talk with cheryl ytd. and the many points she brought up. how harsh and cruel this world can be. and even when we try to look at the good side of it, there are bad points in doing so. and it made me think real hard, why is this world like that. man, and i wish things could get better, but yet, i know it's hard. i used to think that if i wanted the world to change, i could be the first change. but now, it seems so hard. i'll keep trying, but is it really gonna work? hope so.

there are many things i wanna say, but i don't know how to phrase. when you told me that after we grew apart but you still could...., it made me real happy you know that? and now, i want to thank you, for letting be a part of your life. i know, it really isn't easy now. and you're tired. it's alright, cause i know a strong girl like you, you can come out even stronger (: i know it. for all the times you stood by me, the many times you scolded me until i woke up, i thank you. for without you, i'll still be in that thing of relationships. for without you, sometimes i'll still be in self pity. and you know, i appreciate you, for just you. there's no need for facades, there's no need for masks, for i will love you for who you are. just remember that (:

overwhelming feelings. trying to control them

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CHARIS;

life ain't always about receiving, it's more about giving.

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