Friday, July 28, 2006 @7:44 PM

When you said that, you really hurt me okay. And its like really, you make it seem like I havent given anything up, I havent gave anything at all. Its like as if when I asked you to stop fighting it was for my own sake, for myself. But it was not okay. It was for you okay. It was for your own good okay. I was thinking for you okay. I was so freaking worried for you every single day when you fought okay. And if you think its for my own face, then Im really so disappointed in you. Am I that sort to you? If I wanted to save my face, I wouldnt even stop you from fighting, cause isnt fighting something so macho to you? So if I was caring about my freaking face, I would have encouraged you to fight. If I had cared about my face, right from the start, I wouldnt have even gave a thought about you. Im not saying that youre not good enough for me, but if I cared about my face, I wouldnt have gone with you okay. Think about it, if I cared about my face, then I wouldnt consider someone from normal aced. Someone who has less qualifications than I have. Someone whos not say has a very good temper, someone who and the list goes on. If I had freaking cared about my face, do you think I would be with you? Am I that kinda person to you? And when I sms Irwin and jared, its nothing more than friends okay. And when you accused me of that, do you know how much it hurts me? If its my fault that you introduced these friends to me, then fine, I accept your accusations. But its not okay. If you wont even let me talk to them about it, those who know you, who understand you, who else am I supposed to talk to? Those who do not understand you? Those who dont know what Im saying, dont understand cause they dont know you? If this is so, then youre really selfish you know. You can go around telling Malcolm and huida, and I cant tell jared and Irwin? How fair is that. And I have no one who knows me and you other than them okay. So stop it. Stop being so freaking selfish. So much for love, cause this is definitely what it is. You dont want me to tell them cause youre ashamed of me and you. Whos the one caring about his face. Tell me who. It hurts. I feel so betrayed, so hurt, so .. everything. Its not like I wanted to cry, its not like I wanted to tear. But do you think I could help it? I really cant okay. i really didnt expect this from you, cause you said you loved me. I never expected you to use such harsh words. You can say how much youve given up for me. But I wont say how much Ive given up for you, for then itll have no more meaning. I dont regret what I gave up, maybe you do. But Im not gonna tell the whole world what I did for you, cause itll be of so much no meaning. You hurt me, time and time again. Maybe wai sheng is right, I should move on.

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CHARIS;

life ain't always about receiving, it's more about giving.

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