Saturday, September 30, 2006 @8:20 AM

it's ironical really, i thought you said you didn't like lives being publicized, then why did you tell her about mine? i'm actually fine with the fact she knows, but thing is, you told her. and well, i haven't told anyone except those who found out themselves. and i'm not exactly proud of it? maybe she's your good friend, and maybe you thought it wouldn't affect anyone. but you know, she began to ignore me you know, and i felt lousy. that someone who never seemed to ignore anyone, was starting to ignore me. would you know how it feels, to have 3 out of 7 people ignoring you? i just thought that i could tell the both of you, but i guess i shouldn't have.

pls, don't go around telling others what i have told you, and only you

and did you have to judge me like that? like as if i wasn't trying to move on? i don't know

hurt by all of you, for all the trust i had in you guys, it's gone. for now i don't know if what you say or do is true, i don't know if what you tell me is what you really feel. i thought you guys would at least ask me about it when it happened, i thought you guys would realise without me having to tell you. but you know, you guys didn't even see it. and it shows seriously, how significant it is. i'm sorry to say when i needed you guys to be there with me, through it, you werent there. maybe it's my fault i didn't ask, but if i asked, wouldn't i just be called stupid for doing that too? i didn't have the courage to tell you all, and i didn't have the courage to ask you all to be here with me, cause you know why? i knew, somehow i just knew, this would be the outcome. so was it cause i didn't want to share it with you guys? not really. but now, i think it may have been better if i had not been said or touched on at all. cause my life's publicized, my life's a public irony now. and to those i trusted this secret with, they've let it out. who am i supposed to trust.

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CHARIS;

life ain't always about receiving, it's more about giving.

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