Hey there everyone (:
History is OVER. Spell with me, O-V-E-R! I think I sort of screwed it, but oh well. I guess it’s over and I still got geog to help me (: hope I won’t screw my geog as well =/ lalalah, lol.

I was listening to radios in heaven, and I thought of my grandpa (: I love him loads and loads and truckloads. And I cried when I first heard the song you know, cause I miss him so much. Never really told him how much I loved him, never really given a chance to say my last goodbye. I somewhat regret you know, not being able to kiss him for one last time, not being able to say I love you, not being to able to see him smile at me, and say I was his favorite granddaughter all one last time. I regret. I always write stuff about him, in my computer, in my mind. But yet, nothing seems to be able to bring him back alive isn’t it. even my wallpaper is a picture of me and him. I miss you grandpa, and every time I have a problem, I’d think of you. every time I see a person with a big tummy I’d think of you. whenever I hear someone laugh or snore real hard, I’d think of you. whenever I hear someone say they ate good food, I’d think of you, and remember how you loved to criticize other people’s cooking. I remember you for your cooking, for all the Friday nights when I’d stay at your place and you’d cook up lots of my favorite food for me. I’d remember you for the last time you told the nurse I was your favorite granddaughter, which made me cry so bad. I’d remember the times you brought me to the supermarket, and I’d buy my “rubbish”, as you’d call them, and making the bill come up to a hundred plus, sometimes two hundred. And I’d remember you for your hand locked with mine, every time in the car. I’d remember you taking my hand and rubbing it against your moustache and how I’d squeal cause it was ticklish. I’d remember you demanding kisses from me, and how you used? to pay me a buck for one kiss. I’d remember you for all those times grandpa. I really miss you. I really miss you. why’d you have to leave so fast, why couldn’t you wait to watch me grow up. Why didn’t you stay strong when I asked you to. Why did you have to leave me here, with no one to listen to my day, with no one to tell me what to do in difficult situations, with no one to tell me stories, life’s so different now without you. I rushed to the hospital when they called, why didn’t you wait for me. I rushed, I tried my very best, couldn’t you just wait a while longer? I wanted to tell you something so important, couldn’t you just wait for me? and having to see them take out the needles from you, it hurt, why didn’t you wait for me. you know grandpa, I think of you all the time. And I wonder where you are now. You never really told me what you believed in, and now I really wonder where you are. Really wish you’re in heaven, cause I need to tell you the things that I wanted to tell you. I need to. I want to see you again, I want to hug you again. I want to hear you say you love me, for just me. and I want to hear you say nothing is more important than me being happy. I want to hear you call me naughty girl once more. I want to hear you, I want to hug you, I want to kiss you one more time. Why didn’t you wait for me. I love you gong gong, so much. And I miss you, so much. And now I can’t help but cry, facing this computer screen, cause there’s so much I need to say to you. and if you were here now, you’d know exactly what to do. I love you. I LOVE YOU GRANDPA, DO YOU HEAR ME? I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. why’d you have to leave. I need you, to help me through these years. I miss you, I love you.

I really miss him. )’: treasure the moments you have with your loved ones. Cause who’s to know, they may be gone tomorrow, they may just go. Don’t work on things to please them, cause It’s no use. Spend time with them. Do things with them they love. what’s the point in trying to make them happy with material things, cause that’s what make people happy. It’s time spent with them, talk to them. Tell them about your day. Or just a simple game of Chinese chess. Isn’t that what makes life the best? The time spent together. Then at least, you won’t have regrets like me, cause my studies wasn’t what made him happy, it was when I spent time with him. It wasn’t the food I bought him that made him happy, but It was when I cooked WITH him that made him smile. Would anyone understand? Don’t live to regret, spend time with them, now, before they’re gone and then there’ll be nothing you can do about it.

And I’ll live in the present, for the moment. Not for the future, not for the past. For now, the present, this very moment.