just so you know - jesse mccartney

I shouldn't love you, but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you, but I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you, but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you, but I can't move
I can't look away

And I dont know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make the feelings stop

Just so you know
This feeling's takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go
Of you but I don't want to
I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know
It's gettin' hard toBe around you
Theres so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not'
Cause I don't know how to make the feelings stop

Just so you know
This feeling's takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should knowI've tried my best to let go
Of you but I don't want to

I just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know
This emptiness is killin' me
And I'm wonderin' why I've waited so long
Lookin' back I realize it was always there, just never spoken
I'm waitin' here
Been waitin' here

Oooh

Just so you know
This feeling's takin' control
Of me and I can't help it
I wont sit around
I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go
Of you but I don't want toI just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know
Whoa
Just so you know
Whoa
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go
Of you but I don't want toI just gotta say it all before I go
Just so you know
Just so you know

cheryl sent me this song :D it was playing while i was digging out prawn shit, for the bbq. and i thought it was nice (: so thank you cheryl ho for sending it to me!

anyway, i'm not going for chalet today ): i'm sorry.
but chalet for the last two days was fun (: i've never laughed so much in ages (:

i like the first day!
met goh bee hiang and jenzi and eunice at whitesands. and all of them ate without me ): but bee hiang was nice and said she'll eat with me :D but she didn't! she only drank okay! pig. and we took a million years to decide on where to eat. and ended up eating macs. oh wow. lols. all of them bully me alright. jenzi took my nuggets and drowned it in chilli sauce and stuffed it into my mouth. i didn't know it was full of chilli so i just ate. then i was like, wth so hot. lols. and my mouth was dripping chilli sauce. lols. tsktsk jenzi! then as we were about to leave, iris came :D
then jas and cher and trish came :D i left with jas and cher and trish and iris instead (: so we took the bus. lols. and out came all the soft toys :D when we reached there right, jenzi's aunty wasn't there yet so well, we started crapping around. lols. and trish! she was super sick lah! about all the boobs dropping out and stuff. LOLS. she amuses me (: and bee hiang finally understands why i say when you hit people, don't hit the fats, cause fats hurt. LOLS. inside thingy (: so bee hiang, you know, finally understand eh!
then we checked in, like super late! and we went cycling :D and we all cycled the two people one. ehh, what's that called? but haiyah, you guys know what i'm talking about lah :D then i had to cycle with bee hiang =/ LOLS. but it was fun with her okay :D she made me laugh like shit lah. i was sitting behind, so i had no control over the bike. then she kept taking off her hands. i can't stand it! it's damn freaky! cars and bikes, alike. both hands on the wheel at all times! no scaring me. lols. i love bee hiang loads (: and it started to rain when we were cycling back. lols. oh oh! and the bike bee hiang and i took, had no brakes. which freaked me out even more, and she went super fast lah! she didn't realise that poor charis behind was so freaked out. lols. bee hiang, you made me laugh a lot lah! (:
and then we went back (: and we started playing cards. lols. and cheryl bianca and nana came (: and that's when everything turned gay. lols. it's scary at night ): and there was an odd number! scary =/ lols.

second day. ehh, was gross.
lols. i came from guides. which had already made me all sweaty and stuff. and so i had to marinate the stuffs, cause they all went to cycle. so that left me and cheryl to marinate. lols, like last year (: just that nana wasn't marinating this year ): lols, cheryl marinating is funny. she'll take all the fun jobs! leaving me the not nice jobs ): like, taking out prawn shit -.- lols. but it was fun lah (: and chickens err, have their periods too! lols. i was being damn gay cause i was high. and i saw joan (: and qc. omg, and when i called joan, wah lao, qc was damn noisy lah! lols. and the bbq was a whole big mess. lols. i slept on bianca's bed when i was dirty =/ sorry my dear! lols.

i think chalet has made some people bond more (:
i'll never really find anything like twoten. so special (:

i realised i've been living in my world of helplessness for too long. that i've forgotten that others have feelings too. that others have their problems too. that i've forgot to ask, forgot to care. i should stop caring for no one but myself. open my eyes, and realise there's so many people who need me more. no matter how strong, how independent, everyone, needs me. so i shan't coop myself up, i shall go out, and be who i was. someone who cared. (: