Tuesday, December 26, 2006 @9:40 AM

i was reading someone's blog and i just felt that well, everything that was said in one post, it just made me realise, that love, really is a selfish thing. although it isn't supposed to be.

not afraid that the person would die, don't get me wrong. but afraid, that well, our place in the person's heart would be taken by another. and that, well, we won't mean that much to the person anymore. we won't be on the person's top list anymore. we won't just be the first the person would think of anymore. i guess that's what we're all selfish about. important-ess.

it's something i struggled with some time back. wanting to be important in everyone's lives. but like what cheryl said, i can't ever have the best of both worlds. so i guess i let some people go. but then why, did those people i hold on to, chose to leave now? cause don't they see, they're the only people i got. i chose them, cause i loved them more. but now if they leave, what else do i have left? pls prove to me, my decision wasn't wrong.

this year's christmas was terrible for me. having to put up with my father's attitude, being unreasonable and anyhow whacking people. having to put up with my fever. having to be patient with a certain someone whom i can't just tell him off, cause he's just new and i can't shake his faith. having to try to get rid of my belief in a someone, cause it's hard to believe in him/her, cause sometimes it hurts. it just sucks, this christmas. but why it sucks, it's not just cause of all of those above, but more importantly, i didn't get my christmas wish this year. my one and only wish, didn't come true. i already told you santa, i've been so good this year ):

i'm actually quite desperate, i want to go out with you, and ask you what's wrong, if that's the only way you'll talk. but would you even agree to go out? i want to ask, but yet afraid cause knowing that the answer may hurt. it's confusing, it's hurting, it's ironical. it's everything i don't want it to be.

& about

CHARIS;

life ain't always about receiving, it's more about giving.

more about me @ Friendster
prayers since 280606

& archives

April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007

& links

adam; alfi; alisa; arielle; amanda chong; amanda ; basia; beehiang; benjamin; bianca; cassandra; candice; caroline; chai ping; chengxin; chenyi; chee yann; cheryl ho; cheryl tan; chentian; chin sian; chin wen; clare; claudia; clarisse; connie; corliss; daniella; david sun; denise; domonic; eileen; elaine; elaine ho; elizabeth; emma; eunice; evelyn; erwin; ethel; gail; hannah; hanwen; hilary; huida; huiling; iris; jasmine; jeanette; jane; jenzi; jerold; jemima; jinyao; joan; joey; joy; leona; liang hui; laiweng; liren; lifern; louisa; lydia; marianne; meiling; melwee; melong; michelle; natty; oswald; peiqi; qian; rachel koh; rebecca; renice; samantha tan; sandy; sarah siow; sengchiy; shawn;
shi heng; shi ting; sitong; soohan; sze ern; tenielle; trish; vanessa; vanessa t.; vanessa y.; vera;
wann qin; wee sian; weihua; weiling; xiao en; xinyu; xinyun; yenjin; yiwei; yixian; yu jie; yiling; yi zhen; yolanda; zhirui; zihui; zhuoxuan; 2/10 06'; 3/06 07'; 6/7 04;

email

& birthdays [:

January (:
1nd- Judith Ong, Tan Shi Heng, Isaac Josiah Koh
4th- Chentian, Charlene Nah
6th- Fahmi
7th- Rachel Ng
8th- Aidan Lim! (:
9th- Hannah Yap
10th- Earnest, Sandy Png! [:
11th- Cherie Lee! [:
12th- Agnes Chan
14th- nicole lim! [:
15th- Daddy! [:
23rd- Ong Zi Yan
25th- meiling! [:
26th- Emma Chin
31st- Eunice Kho and Goh Bee Hiang!<3

February (: 1st- chenyi! [:
2nd- sam rae! [:
4th- Tay Soo Han
7th- Eugena Tay! (:
16th- Jiang Yue
17th- hilary! [:
21st- pamela, georgina! [:
26th- Erwin Quek
28th- Sherwin

March (:
8th- Tammy Tan, Jenzi Chua
9th- melwee! [:
10th- hsin fang
29th- yi wei

April (:
6th- Irwin Lau! [:
8th- Qian Qian
9th- eugene lim! [:
13th- jemima, mummy! [:
14th- Low Yuan Yi
18th- rachel koh
21st- hui fang
24th- Tse Chun Kit
28th- joan chew! [:

May (:
1st- jin yao
7th- jasmine! (:
9th- cheng xin
20th- Si Tong
23rd- Claudia! (:

June (:
15th- jin faye
16th- christabel
17th- Eugene Ho! [:
18th- Yumi Bong
26th- Viki Yap
30th- Phryne Lau

July (:
1st- Vanessa Yong, deborah tay
2nd- Jean Tan
11th- Daniel Tay! (:
12th- Tricia Goh
16th- Renice Loh, Deanna Yap
19th- melissa ong
21st- Keane Chooi
22nd- Jing Wei Durian! (:
27th- Quek Shi Rui, Nicholas toiletbowl! (:
29th- kelly! [:
31st- Goh Yi Zhen! (:

August (:
1st- Michelle tay! (:
2nd- Sharmaine Thia
4th- Chua Xin Yi, Yi Yi! (:
5th- Lydia Lim, Andrew Koh! (: , Alfi Theo! (: Dale Low! (:
8th- Ling Li Ren, Kenneth Nah
10th- Victoria Chan
12th- Jerrold Chan
13th- Lee Zhi Quan! (:
15th- Vanessa Yeap
16th- Joshua chua! (:
17th- Lee Ling
20th- Godpapa! (:
22nd- Ryan Kor! (:
23rd- Basia Hing, Fiona Guo
24th- Jazzlyn Tei
28th- Chin Sian, Iris Siow! (:
29th- Gao Min

September (:
2nd- James Yeap
8th- Jeanette Koh! (: , Cheryl Ho! (:
10th- Jayna Tan
11th- Ian Leong
14th- Shu Wen, Chin Weng Loong, Zhi Rui
16th- Deon Phua, samantha tan
17th- Tan Ee Min, Alisa Tan
19th- Hui Da! (:
20th- Seng Chiy
23rd- Benjamin Lee! (:
24th- Terry Shen
29th- Tan Wei Ling, Candice

October (:
2nd- Sarah (nycd)
3rd- tabitha Gwee
4th- pei lih
6th- Jared! (:
9th- chelsia
10th- Clare Lim, Alex Lam
13th- lai weng, Lee Pei Yun! (:
15th- Lim Xin Ying, joy lin, alina! [:
16th- Ethel Phang, Andrea Yap! (:
17th- Evangeline quek
19th- Adam
20th- Jia Yun, Grace Yeo
21st- Bianca Loh! (:
26th- Calean
29th- Gail Chong

November (:
4th- Tricia Lee! (:
5th- Jane Low
6th- Goh Wee Sian
7th- Aaron Lee
8th- Yiling
10th- Amanda Chong
12th- Woo Mei Shan
14th- elizabeth fong, Zi Hui! [:
15th- Marianne Loh
16th- Ariff
19th- Yeo Hui Ling
22nd- Renee Phua
25th- Isabel Phua, PaulVin, Matthew Leong! (:
27th- Jonathan Chan
29th- Foo Thian Shin

December (:
4th- Xin yu, Shamel
6th- Mabel Chan
8th- Afiq
10th- Connie Ho, Jason (central 2)! (:
12th- Natalie Ng! (:
15th- Fang Ying
22nd- Edrea Chong, Malcolm Tan! (:
24th- Yolanda Tan, Oswald Tan! (:
26th- Dorothy Sze
29th- Natalie Phoon, Han Yu! (:
31st- Shanice Sim, Margaux, joanna chan

& tagboard



& credits

layout: +
fonts: +
brushes: +
image: +