Friday, January 12, 2007 @7:36 PM

if only you'll start to believe in yourself, and realise that those people are not worth your time cause there are so many people who actually love you for who you are. i know you have some inferioty complex or something, and i can understand. but sometimes, i just really don't understand why you let it get to you so much. i mean, you can look at it from two ways. and i already tried to tell you, but you aren't listening. i mean, you can rant, i don't mind. but at least take something away from the conversation. think about what i said, at least. whatever other people say, you let it affect you. but you yourself know that you didn't do it, so why be so bothered by it. i really don't understand you sometimes, and as much as i want to be there to keep encouraging and supporting you, it's getting tiring. cause you're not even realising what i've been trying to say all these while. when will you understand that, the most blessed thing is to have people to really love you. tell me when.

"living up to expectations", that was something i heard today. and well, i really wish i could live up to your expectations, but sometimes it's really hard. i would live up to it, if i could. but thing is, we're not all trying. we had lunch prac, well some of us. we're actually really trying to be living up to expectations, cause frankly, i do want to do well, i do want to get somewhere in this cca. and i used to like the talks we had, one to one, where we got encouragement, and when there was a time we could laugh with you guys. but now, it seems like there's such a big gap. i can't remember when was the last time you smiled at me. i can't remember when was the last time we ever joked with each other. i really don't remember. i miss the times when we held you in respect, but it didn't have to mean being so seperated. i wish to live up to expectations, but sometimes, i just really miss the friendship we all once had.

i hope you're feeling better now. cause i really hate to see you upset.

dale, thank you for calling me last night. although it was really short, i guess i really miss talking to you. i really am grateful to have a cell leader like you, cause sometimes, well, at least to me, you're the only one who calls to catch up, who calls to ask how's things. and sometimes, i feel like you're the only one who really understands. and you're the only one who will share your life with me, your experiences too. i mean, well maybe that's the advantage of being older, i don't know. but i just really miss having someone there. oh well (: rah, thank you (:

forgive and forget, and don't take things to heart. i think, sometimes that's really just all you can do.

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CHARIS;

life ain't always about receiving, it's more about giving.

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