18/01/07
today marks the day that you've been gone for 2 years.
today, i woke up and remembered you. i told myself that i'd not cry today, and i'd try my best not to get affected. before school, i tried my best. and in school, i did too. i succedded, well, half way through. but when i laughed so hard, and i stopped, the emptiness came all right back in, and i started to tear. i felt so embarassed, i felt so ashamed. not of you, but of myself. i couldn't control, i couldn't do anything about it. cause you seem like you were just here yesterday, you seem like you were just right here. and i can feel your arm right on my lap, and your moustache kissing me goodnight. i can feel your love and care, and i can feel your very warmth. i thought it was just yesterday, but it's been two years. two years has passed so fast without you, and sometimes i think that things would be so much better with you around. to be able to stay with you and sleep in your house on fridays. for you to bring me to the supermarket to buy whatevr i want. these cheap thrills, i remember, and i want them back. sometimes, thinking of you makes me smile, but today it made me cry. i wish you were still here with me, i miss your big tummy. but most of all, i miss your love, i miss how you said 'i love you'. i miss every part of you. sometimes i wish you'd come back, but i know it isn't possible. sometimes i wonder if you've gone to heaven, and i just can ponder, nothing else. grandpa, these two years, i just want to tell you i love you, and i haven't forgotten you, and you're such a living memory in my mind. i love you, and i hope you're happy in heaven.

sorry tablemates, i must have been a real horror to sit next to cause i was so irritable D:

i miss you, grandpa. wish you were here.


everything in it's time

Sometimes i wonder what lies ahead
How long til my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
so many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer
To get through it all

I just fall on my knees and i try to pray
in the silence i can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like that i'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
why i should give up
But i'm stubborn in the things i believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One i still cant see
A little surprise, like your love in your life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign

Everything in its time
Everything in its time
(:

it's a nice song, and go to hilary's blog to look at pictures :D
http://mymeltedlove.blogspot.com/ (:
yay, melwee always looks sad D: but still, i think she's cute ((:
lol, if she sees this, i think i'm gna die D: but oh well :D freedom of speech!

i hope that you guys understand