i think first thing first.
thank you beehiang.

today would just have been really all tears if not for you <3
thank you for coming in during recess when you saw me crying. i think i really needed someone to notice, i needed some care. i needed someone to tell me not to cry. thank you darling, thank you yushi too (:
when i was panicking, looking for her, thank you for offering to look for her with me. i think i needed that. i think i needed someone with me. i think i was really just losing my mind, i didn't know what to do. thank you darling, you've helped me so much. and thank you for accompanying me all the time in the toilet, i didn't feel so helpless with you there with me.
and when i felt so lousy after you left, and everything just came again, and some not nice things were said, all i had to do was to sms you, and you helped me so much. you encouraged me, you reassured me. thank you dear.
you know me so well, you love me just so well. cause you're beehiang, you're the best. and you'll always be <3

mr tan; sorry. sometimes i feel like that's the only thing i can say. but yet i think i have to let you know that 306 feels sorry too. and we really miss the laughy you. we miss you that believes in us. we miss the you that is patient, in teaching us. we miss you, and we're really sorry. i'm really sorry. i'll try harder, i promise.

thank you evelyn for your note (:
thank you melwee for your alphabet and star and sweets (:
thank you hilary for your chocolates and note (:
thank you yuxin for your chocs and note (:
thank you yenjin for your note, care and concern today (:
thank you jenzi for your smile (:
thank you hilary for your 'are you okay' (:

today's the worst day of my whole life.
cause somehow i just can't seem to get some things straight, and things just keep building up. but you know something (: i know tomorrow will be a better day. so darling, please hold on to the same hope as i do, that tomorrow will be a better day. that's the hope i cling on to. yes, so will you believe in that too?

see iris (: it wasn't so bad <3

evelyn's note really made me feel like crying. sorry evelyn, but i really have to quote you, to make my point.
"..then i realised i was affecting alot of people. so now, when i am with my friends, i want to make them happy so that i can be happy with them too! :D i guess you're kinda like that too right? when i think of it, i think of your smile (: but some to think of it, this is also what makes a difference. both friends and close friends see your smiles, but a close friend sees your tears too (: so instead of always concerning about whether i am okay, we can also talk about your sad things okay (: jia you!"
i was really so touched. she realised i don't talk about myself anymore. she realised. and she cared <3 thank you evelyn, you make me feel loved (:

although it's the worst day of my life, i think it can be the best day of my life too. cause i know there are people there for me

beehiang, i love you (: you're the top on my list, always, i promise

god will make a way,
when there seems to be no way.
he works in ways,
i cannot see, he will make a way for me.

he will be my guide,
hold me closely to his side,
with love and strength for each new day,
he will make a way, he will make a way

Lord, i trust in you, please don't use silence to answer me anymore.