every beat of my heart

Friday, March 30, 2007 @10:51 PM

go beehiang [:
go nicole [:
go ashleen [:
go yuanyi [:
jia youu!~ [:
go kick some serious ass [:

haha, don't just come to me when you need someone.
would you come to me if you had everyone?

@6:02 AM

oh God, pls let it be a good day for her [:
cause she means the most, to me.

everything will be okay, i'll always be by your side x3

@12:08 AM

i'm sorry if i keep pushing everyone away,
i'm just not in the mood to share.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 @9:46 PM

haha good job,
i realised i haven't post in 3 days.

我爱上让我奋不顾身的一个人，
我以为这就是我所追求的世界，
然而横冲直撞被误解被骗，
是否成人的世界背后总有残缺，
我走在每天必须面对的分岔路，
我怀念过去那单纯美好的小幸福，
爱总让人哭让人觉得不满足，
天空很大却看不清楚，好孤独。

i like this songgg [:
i'm living in world war 3 [:

Monday, March 26, 2007 @6:09 PM

HOHO LET'S SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS TO MY BILL.
well done ._.
don't sms me >< no more phoneee.
gayway.

anyway!
GO NYBT! [:
HOHOHO.
GOGOGOGOGO!
JIA YOUUUU!~ [:
congrats on beating dunman [:

I WANT MY PHONE BACK LAH ]x
GAY PANGSAI.

i miss beehiang ]x

oh yah, i cried when shyam said that han may be our IH teacher lah ]x
rah i don't know, i just don't want.
thank you rachel for pei-ing me to the toilet x3

everything seems to happening all at the same time,
it's getting hard to take.

Sunday, March 25, 2007 @8:31 PM

i couldn't help but cry.

thank you beehiang for coming today :D
i appreciate it loads and loads and loads [:
and thank you for pei-ing me to eat dinner [:
hahaha, beehiang and charis making decisions=terror.
HAHAHA.

i love you beehiang! x3
thank you for your support todayy [:
and all those who were there too,
thank you. it's really touching to have your support [:

@7:59 AM

Not In Her Storm

I see the clouds rolling in and oh how it looks like rain
And it is always I fight for the welcome change
When it rains it pours on this heart of mine
So, I take the storms I feel to her each time.

But I know she has lived under her own pouring rain
Yet under her water her heart still doesn't change
She can walk away from what hangs overhead
And, not in her storm, are words left unsaid.

Not in her storm have I ever felt alone
Her storm ends, so I, may find my way home
It's for me that she pushes away her own rain
So, that I may find comfort in calling her name.

She lives in this world for the sake of another's heart
God, how she eases the miles when worlds apart
And she never wanders when your world falls through
Not ever in her storm would she do this to you.

She has wings that I know not only I can see
Cause only an angel could find strength to carry me
It's the way that the eyes can surely view
How her heart's written so clearly in what an angel can do.

Not in her storm is her work ever done
And even in her storm she hands me the sun
When her world is dark - I always have light
And now how I hold the new color of night.

She takes then she gives to an unhappy face
So that many can find an awesome place
I have been able to love her more every day
And with her hand in mine the clouds roll away.

Not in any storm that I will ever live beneath
Could ever change what I hold here inside of me
Not in any of her storms have I lost my angels touch
To that angel out there, I love her so much.

@12:33 AM

"When a person trains once, nothing happens. When a person forces himself to do a thing a hundred or a thousand times, then he certainly has developed in more ways than physical. Is it raining? That doesn't matter. Am I tired? That doesn't matter, either. Then willpower will be no problem." Emil Zatopek [:

there, don't be discouraged x3
hoho, went for guzheng concert [:
i saw everyone i knoww~
i saw cher, trish, jas, pamela, chinneh, chengxin, elizabeth [:
hahaha, i could see. good view [:

beehiang made my day today lahh~
ahaha, she's good company [:
rah, i love you [[:

hoho and now i'm back home, lagging.
HAHAHA.
don't be discouraged, don't lose heart!
tomorrow is less than 24 hours away [:

Saturday, March 24, 2007 @8:04 AM

hoho,
i feel like not going tomorrow ._. die.

eh joann, if you're gna see this, hoho not going church today.
you must be okay, okay? [:
loves x3

rah. i'm boreddd.
HAHA i need to self entertain.
but then againnn, what can i do to selfentertain.

我们会手牵手一起找我们的彩虹。
不要伤心，不要绝望，
我们有永远，找到幸福。
快乐，快了。
我会陪着你到永远，
直到我们找到快乐。
手牵手，我们会渡过难关。
我爱你 [:

Friday, March 23, 2007 @7:48 PM

haha is it always this way?
when you have to say one thing and yet do another.
stop the tears from coming down ]: idontknowwherehomeis
FOOP.
I'M BORED.
HAHA.
FRIDAY NIGHT [:

@12:20 AM

HAHA DAMN GAY.
I HATE SIAs.
HAHAHA, I'M DOING LA :O

HAHA, YOU'RE OFFLINE AND POOF, I'M ALONE ONLINE.
HAHAHA, BUT NEVERMIND :D
GO SLEEEPPPP [:

I'M AMAZINGLY AWAKE.

Thursday, March 22, 2007 @6:17 PM

sometimes you hold so tight,
it slips right through your hands.

nothing to blog abouttt.
except, how does everyone finish their homework? HAHA.
i can't seem to finish, to matter how long i'm at it ><

rah, YOUYOUYOU, i hope you're feeling better [: haha, i appreciate you remember me when you need someone [: yeah, and i'll always be here. cry if you need, i'll be there to comfort. if you need to talk, talk i'll just listen. whatever it is, i'm here whenever you need someone.

i felt like as if my life was being intruded when you asked those questions.

you're the wind beneath my wings x3

Tuesday, March 20, 2007 @10:16 PM

i don't care about you.
i'm sick and tired of you.
]:<

SIAs. hoho.
me and jenzi and iris and hilary rusheddd.
dieee. we ended up pigging away.

i feel sidalsdj.
haha, oh well [:

beehiang, stay strong x3

Monday, March 19, 2007 @6:40 PM

haha today was great, sucky, great (:
HAHA, i know that was gay. but that's the sequence whatt~

haha, it was nice to walk into class and burst out laughing yet not knowing why. HAHA. i just laugh for no apparent reason. hoho, that was gay (:
& then i wish i could have shut her up. haha, she was making me cry :X
AND THEN hahaha, beehiangg and jenzi and eunice made me laugh alottt~ HAHAHA. my legs are long lah, pfft. hoho. i love beehiang and jenzi and eunice. HAHA, and i didn't feel slow today >< i know there are slower poeple. hahaha. aherm eunice. aherm beehiang. hahaha. shit damn gay.

to the person whom i told, no man is an island alone;
you're not alone. you're really not. i understand, i've been through it too, have you forgot? you can't keep keeping it in, it won't help. no one can survive this world alone, that's why we live with people. like how no one can just survive on a plate of hope. please, i'm here, anytime. it hurts when you do that, we all hurt. be brave, for us? for me? be brave, alright? you're not alone. we can conquer all things, together x3

Sunday, March 18, 2007 @5:15 PM

haha, suddenly i feel like time passes so quickly.
3 years since primary school when it just seemed like yesterday when i was playing the piano after school with nat.
3 years since primary school when it just seemed like yesterday when i went home with alfi.
3 years since primary school when it just seemed like yesterday when vinod tripped me and made me fall flat on my face.
3 years since primary school when it just seemed like yesterday when jordan and i argued whether to take the bus or mrt home.
3 years since primary school when it just seemed like yesterday when andrea drew me that get well soon card.
3 years since primary school when it just seemed like yesterday when i last went for girlsbrigade session.
3 years since primary school when it just seemed like yesterday when i was prefect of 6/1.
3 years since primary school when it just seemed like yesterday when i was ridiculed in front of so many people.
3 years since primary school when it just seemed like yesterday when i was alone, but i wasn't upset.
3 years since primary school when it just seemed like yesterday..

hoho, time passes super fast. i don't know what else there is to say, but i miss primary school life, surprisingly. like, haha, who would miss my kind of primary school life man. hoho. but then again, it was were everything wasn't simple, it was as complicated, but well, i sort of get over things so much easier. haha. i don't know, i suddenly just miss primary school alot, although i hate it alot too. haha. i don't keep in touch with friends from primary school, cause i hate primary school. HAHA. gay eh? but oh well (:

3 years has just flown by without me realising how much time i've wasted.
pity? yeah, i guess so.

HAHA, DO I SOUND SAD. I'M NOT SAD (:
i'm just saying how fast time flies. haha.
(:

@2:57 PM

haha, i'm here :D
i'm posting. HAHA.

torn
it's how i feel,now
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around
And he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry

Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Or seem to care
What your heart is for
I don't know him anymore

There's nothin' where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothings right
I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am ashamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune tellers right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins
And now, I don't care I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can't touch
I'm torn

There's nothin' he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's right
I'm torn

(:

Saturday, March 17, 2007 @11:19 AM

'a champion hates to fail, but is not afraid of failing (:'
jia you darlinggg!~ (:

HAHA.
I'M FEELING GAY WAY.
AND I SEE ALOT OF ANTS. PFFT.
I HATE ANTS. JINGWEI KNOWS THAT. AND HE LAUGHED AT ME WHEN I TOLD HIM LONG LONG AGO OKAY. PFFT. ANTSSS~ EE.

HOHO (:
I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL EH (: HAHAHA.
FOOPER. I WANT IT TO BE HOLIDAYS FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER.
OH YAY, I SEE JOAN TODAY. HAHA, IN SUCH A LONG TIME.

OH AND I SAW SAM OEI TODAY.
HAHA, SHE'S TALLER THAN ME NOW. OH NO, SHORT.
HAHAHA, BUT SHORT IS GOOD. YES, IT IS (:

OKAY I SHAN'T BE GAY (:
BYEBYE (:

Friday, March 16, 2007 @10:08 PM

i gave my hand away today (:
haha, foreverr it's gone, (:
i gave my hand away on march 16 (:

to none other than, yours truly, my boyf x3
HAHA (:

@5:08 PM

Haha, it hurts to see you upset okay cy! (: so don’t be upset anymore. Sing the troubles awayyy (: and everything will be okay (: charis loves you! (: and thank you for your arm (: it helped alott (:

I heard our used to be song, hoho and i started to tear. It’s a good thing they forwarded it. If not i think i would have ended up crying like a fountain. Haha. I haven’t let go of you.

I love chen yi (:
I love iris (:
I love pei lih (:
I love joanna (:
I love yiwei (:
I love meiling (:
I love christabel (:
I love georgina (:
I love jenzi (:
I love jemima (:
I love caroline (:

Whoohoo (:

Singing is fun, singing from the soul is tiring. (:
To mean what you sing is not easy, to feel what you sing is harder.
But heck (: it isn’t meant to be serious singing (:

Haha, art friend is gay. But yeah, it does sell alot of nice stuff (:

and for now, i'm tired. foop. i need a rest (:

@8:26 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY IN AGES.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.
NO ONE IS LEAVINGGGGG~
HAHAHAHAHAHA.

YAY, HOHO. GAY POST, I KNOW.
BUT WHO CARES. HAHAHAHA.
NO ONE'S LEAVINGGG (:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA,
306 IS HAVING NICE KBOX SESSION LATER (:
HOHO, HAHAHAHAHA.
THOSE WHO ARE TONE DEATH, OH NO.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.

SHIT, I'M DAMN GAY.
HAHAHAHAHAHA, NVM (:
I'M HAPPYYYYYY.
SUPER DUPER HAPPYYYYY.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
WHEE, x3
SMILE WITH MEEEE (:
LET THE BRIGHT WHITE TEETH SHINE (:

Thursday, March 15, 2007 @2:51 PM

FOOP.
it's not the __ that's weird, it's the people. haha.
oh well (:
hahawhyamicriticizingsomethingiusedtobelievein
THE TAXI UNCLE SAID I LOOK LIKE I'M IN JC.
HE SAID I LOOK MATURE.
hahaha, and beehiang doesn't believe me. hoho.

haha, i look mature (:
thank you very muchhh~

i shall get my ass to do hw now )x
there's so much to dooo.
haha, i don't know where to start.

@10:12 AM

foop, everyone's posts are sad )x
ah i shall post a happy post (:

EVERYONE SMILE (:
CAUSE SMILING IS GOOD FOR HEALTH! (:

hohoho, i don't know what to post. HOW~
hahaha, welcome back all those who went for central camp (:
HEARD IT WAS FUNFUNFUN. ((:

hoho, yohoho. FOOP IS A COOL WORD.
AND IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW, IT'S POOF SPELT BACKWARDS.
and i think it's a nice worddddd.

(:
JUST SMILE OKAY!
EVERYTHING WILL BE BETTER (:

Wednesday, March 14, 2007 @7:33 PM

don't forget to remember me (:

18 years have come and gone
For mama they flew by
But for me they drug on and on
We were loading up that Chevy
Both tryin' not to cry
Momma kept on talking
Putting off good-bye
Then she took my hand and said

"Baby don't forget:
Before you hit the highway
You better stop for gas
There's a 50 in the ashtray
In case you run short on cash
Here's a map and here's a Bible
If you ever lose your way
Just one more thing before you leave
Don't forget to remember me"

This downtown apartment
sure makes me miss home
and those bills there on the counter
Keep telling me I'm on my own
And just like every Sunday
I called mama up last night
And even when it's not,
I tell her everything's all right
Before we hung up I said

"Hey mama, don't forget:
to tell my baby sister
I'll see her in the fall
And tell me-maw that I miss her
Yeah, I should give her a call
And make sure you tell Daddy
that I'm still his little girl
Yeah I still feel like I'm where I'm supposed to be
Don't forget to remember me"
daddy,amistillyourlittlegirl?
Tonight I find myself kneeling by the bed to pray
I haven't done this in a while
So I don't know what to say but Lord,
I feel so small sometimes in this big ol' place
I know there are more important things, but
Don't forget to remember me
Don't forget to remember me
jesusdoyouloveme?
(:
don't forget to remember me <3

Tuesday, March 13, 2007 @5:03 PM

hohoho, guides tomorrow (:
i'm sorry. i hurt you and you hurt me
you don't understand how you make me feel, i've never been so real.

@11:55 AM

i walked home really slow today, haha. at my pace [:
so i took half an hour to walk home, i guess it was good [:

i need to stop talking to leon ._.
he's damn gay.

@7:41 AM

i'm sorry for forever losing my temper.
i hate it too. rawr.
but why does it feel like as if you hate me?
haha i shall go for guides, come back and just do my homework.
yeah, yohoho, that's what i'll do.

oh and thank you leon [:
for being so gay last night. and offering to cheer me up. thanks.
you've changed so much since primary sch, haha. but i guess, that's a good thing [:

Monday, March 12, 2007 @8:04 PM

HAHA I SMILED AT RANDOM PEOPLE TODAY.
and the response is weird. HAHAHA.

i was on the way to tuition and on the way back from tuition and at tampines mall. i was really seriously feeling rather gay today, so i smiled at whoever i saw [: hoho, and responses are hilarious.

some give me the oO look. HAHA.
some give me the 'what's your problem' look.
a little girl cried when i smiled at her oO HAHAHA
and some people just smiled back [:

haha. so hurting lahh. she cry when i smile at her. HOHOHO. hahaha.
oh man. this is one gay day. but it's nice to be smiled at [:

yay smile [:
guides tomorrow :D
hoho, packingggg~

@11:23 AM

i found a really nice quote [:

"sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. there is a time for silence. a time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. and a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it's all over."

"time's passage through the memory is like molten glass that can be opaque or crystallize at any given moment at all: a thousand days are melted into one conversation, one glance, one hurt, and one hurt can be shattered and sprinkled over a thousand."
Gloria Naylor

don't make it sound like a crime when i don't go out with you, cause it's not. pfft.

@8:11 AM

HAHA, i don't know what to post about anymore =/
gaywayyy.

oh oh! malcolm said, "charis you look taller". HAHAHAHAHAHA.
that made me really laugh like crap [:

i want to go for central camp ]x
but i can't cause i have tuition and guides and ukyrlahdna.
oh well ]x

i seriously have nothing to blog about. congrats.
today's gna be another boring day :D
i realised i'm very guai. hoho, i'm always at home. haha. rah.

okay i should stop crapping.
byebye world :D

ps! bee + honey = forever* [:
* no dumping [x

/edit 9:43
没有了你，我该怎么办。我真的不敢想象。我的无助，只有你能够给我希望。没有了你，我该怎么办。

/edit 10:57
rahh i hate homework ]x
i've been at it forever. and nothing's processing. pfft.

Sunday, March 11, 2007 @6:58 PM

i'm wondering, did you miss me today?
cause i know i did

@2:12 PM

[:

there! a smile, for you.

Friday, March 09, 2007 @8:30 PM

[:
it feels so much better, to have beehiang back
[:

i'm finally smiling,
i'm finally feeling better. [:
beehiang, you're a miracle <3

@9:56 AM

beehiang's coming back today [:
i've been feeling so lost these few days with all these unexpected events, and without her, i just really feel lost. i'm so glad you're back darling. so glad <3 nothing can beat the fact, that i know you're there.

/edit 12:24
you always use the excuse that you're in a bad mood to shut me away. is it fair to me? cause when i'm in a "bad mood", i don't shut you out. and i was trying to lighten you up, and you said i'm lecturing you? you know from all the time i thought i knew you till now, i figured only one thing out. that is, i don't understand you. at all. maybe your cheryl does, i don't really care anymore, you know? it used to get to me so much, but now, just go to her. whatever. it doesn't matter if you don't share your problems with me anymore, i don't want any part of it anyway. i tried being there for you, i tried to understand, i tried to be understanding to why you always seemed to treat me like shit. but i can't anymore. cause now i seee how you pioritize others over me. you pioritize people, how can you do that. how can one be more important than the other. never once have you asked, charis how are you. how selfish can you get? when you want people to shut up, they just have to. it's not a choice. cause YOU want them to shut up, they just have to? who do you think you are. you always say you're not happy with the life you're living, but you're not doing anything at all to change it. words with no actions mean nothing.

i'm feeling irritable, but so? no one cares when people feel irritable. they just all, shun aside.

Thursday, March 08, 2007 @7:21 PM

i wish you 2 all the best.
i don't want to know who she is,
i just wish you guys, all the best

@2:53 PM

as much as i have tried to deny, as much as i have tried to push these thoughts to my head, as much as i want to tell myself that i don't miss twoten, i do. i miss the joy in twoten, something i seem to have lost touch with. there was something to look forward to school in sec two, it was twoten. but now, i have to drag myself out of bed, drag myself to school. i have to sit through those utterly boring lessons, and i have to try so hard to keep awake.
it's been so long since i've had fun during lessons, though it used to be like an everyday thing in twoten. lessons in twoten, were fun, no matter how boring the content was. cause twoten made it alive. sometimes i push to the back of my head, cause i don't want to look back, but sometimes it's really hard not to think of those times.
yes, although the teachers hated us, but at least we had each other. even when we cried, we cried together. i really miss twoten. and what makes me all the more, is the fact that twoten, this class, means so much to all of us. take the last day, people who never cried over things before, they began to cry. like eugena. i remember. she cried. she cried real bad. i guess that shows how much this class means, doesn't it?
i miss twoten for i was able to smile there. i hate sec three. works' piling, no time for friends anymore. everyone's so caught up, there's no more time to care. everyone's so busy, there's no more time to be involved in each others lives. everyone's wanting to be first, no one's stopping to help those who have fallen. i miss twoten, cause we always helped each other up. we always wiped away each others' tears. we always supported each other, and i personally knew, i always had twoten behind me, no matter how far away twoten seemed.
i really miss twoten alot. although i can't turn back time, although i know there's no way that twoten can be twoten again, but i wish we could stay together. everyone's distancing. and it's quite sad, really sad actually. cause i want twoten, to stay together. i want twoten to always be twoten. but is it possible?
i love you, twoten. all 35 of you.
i feel really alone now, cause there's literally no one.
you took me, manipulated me, cheated me, left me, hurt and bruised. why was i so stupid, to trust you, when you've done all this before.

@8:56 AM

Who would have thought
That you could hurt me
The way you've done it?
So deliberate, so determined
you always do this
And since you have been gone
I bite my nails for days and hours
And question my own questions on and on
always
So tell me now, tell me now
Why you're so far away
When I'm still so close
do you take me as a fool?
You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
You said you would love me until you die
And as far as I know you're still alive, baby
You don't even know the meaning of the words "I'm sorry"
I'm starting to believe it should be illegal to deceive a woman's heart
argh. 3 times.
I tried so hard to be attentive
To all you wanted
Always supportive, always patient
What did I do wrong?
I'm wondering for days and hours
It's clear, it isn't here where you belong
i've had enough
Anyhow, anyhow
I wish you both all the best
I hope you get along
more than enough. fuck off
Open heart
Open heart
It should be illegal to deceive a woman's

[x hoho beehiang is coming back tomorrow! tomorrow! [[:
i miss her alot, don't you! haha, yes i do, i do! x3

oh man, there's so much i want to blog about, but i just forgot everything i wanted to say.
i guess i've really got nothing to say. hoho. congrats.
great, now i don't even remember what i wanted to say? whats wrong with me
why has the emotions i've been feeling these days been "i knew it would happen, again"?

Wednesday, March 07, 2007 @12:20 PM

these few days i've not been doing much.
watching shows and having this laptop in front of me.
frankly, now i really feel like i'm a sick patient. not being able to do anything.

i was just watching this show,
and something struck me.
we live this life, in hope we live our dream.
but when we live our dream, we're so afraid that it'll be over.
we're so afraid that our dream would just be a dream. and we're all so afraid that when we are living the dream, that someday it'd just all dissapear. why is there that fear? why is there never contentment? or just happiness that we once lived our dream? why is it that we complain about everything? why is that we complain when we can't live our dream, and when we can, we complain about how it'll end. why can't we just be contented?

why can't we be like kids, contented?

@8:22 AM

beehiang i hope you are alright.
i hope the sickness has really gone away, although i really doubt so.
rah ]x come back ]:
my heart will "piang piang" if anything happens to you.
i told you before, and i tell you again,
you're most precious.
most precious x3

and the question of why do only kids dream of flying still bugs me.
but yet, now i'm beginning to wonder, why i never dreamt of flying before.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 @8:55 PM

omg, beehiang is sick.
howhowhowhow.
i want her to come back.
i want you to come back beehiang ]x
don't stay there. i want you to come back.
i don't want anything to happen to you ]:
cause you mean alot to me
please come back, please.

ee, beehiang cheat me ]x
she's home sick, and charis-sick.
hoho. i miss her alot also ]:
it's only been two days.
rah. i miss her alot alot ]x
i can't wait till friday.
i miss you alot, beehiang. x3

@5:58 PM

beehiang ]x
you're worrying me to death
are you okay or nottt.
rah. i can't take this anymore.
reply my sms please.
you shouldn't have gone for obs ]x

to my together forever,
i'm here. i love you. i think you're still beautiful, no matter how hard you're struggling. no matter how tired you are. i still love you, i still think you're beautiful. remember, you told me when i don't have the strength to do something, find strength in something else first. remember? come to me, i'll give you strength. i'm not that weak yet, joan, i'm not. i'm strong enough for you. to carry you. i'll carry you through. loving someone cannot be forced. you do it slowly joan [: we'll take the time, together we will find the points to love in others. we will do it together.
i know how hard it is to go to someone for help. remember, i told you i feel the same? i still do dear. i still do. you're NOT alone. i'm going through every single thing you're going through. remember you told me we always seem to go through the same thing? yes, we do. that's why i love you even more. cause you understand. i can't say i totally understand everything, but dear, i will empathize. i will try to put myself in your shoes. we're very much the same, we can get through it together. alright?
you've always been there for me. always. last time, when oswald and i had alot of things, when my friends in school and i had always of things. even now, when things are like that. you've always been there dear. i reassure you, you've always been there.
i cried in school cause i didn't know how to let it all out. but you know, after i cried, i felt so much better. trust me, you'll feel better. call me, like how you did. cry to me, come to me. cause i still love you. three years of friendship dear. you can come to me.
i love you, my angel

@12:48 PM

i'm worried ]x
i don't want anything to happen to you ]:

that girl [:
i love you more than life
oh tonight i'm feeling fine,
i'm alone just wasting time.
no friday movie nights or romantic candle lights,
i'm just having conversations with the thoughts in my head.
but i don't even dare tell you how i feel
all i hear are angels crying,
oh won't they just sing instead.
cause i'm afraid you'll freak out
it would be wrong for me to say,
but you don't know how much you mean to me
i don't need that girl by my side,
i don't need that girl in my life.
i don't want to talk it out or hold her when she cries~
i don't want to say she's my kind,
i don't want to say that she's mine,
i don't want to tell her that i love her more than life,
more than life.
that sometimes it scares me too
honestly, this wouldn't do.
how is she doing?
i tell myself i'm feeling swell,
but i know i'm such fool.
i'll just take it as a new beginning,
but you know i don't feel that way.
who will take all this pain away?
i'll get over it sometime, i know
talk about sin,
was the day i walked into the other side.
i would run back in,
i wouldn't waste no time,
i know it's wrong for me to say.
till then, oh well
nice song [:
eugene lim sent it to me [:

beehianggg! i hope you're okay ]x
i'm worried sick for you.

why is it that only little children dream of flying?

Monday, March 05, 2007 @8:34 AM

i was crying cause i couldn't go for OBS, but just smsing you made me smile again. you bring my smile back, through the tears. it's always you [: thank you beehiang. you're always the one who makes me smile. no matter how bad i was crying. i had other sms-es, but it was yours that made me smile [: hoho, thank you.

beehiang was super nice yesterday [:
she came with yushi to my house [: hoho. with nice flowers [[: hoho. it was supposed to be a surprise, HAHA, but she couldn't find my house. hoho, so she called me. haha. i was really touched cannn~ no one ever visit me before. hoho. i love beehiang alot. alot alot alot [[[: 没有人能够取代你在我心中的位置。

hoho. no obs for me ]: oh well. i hope all of you have fun. rah

what would your reaction be, if i told you how i feel? ]:

Sunday, March 04, 2007 @7:51 AM

HAPPY HAPPY SECOND MONTH BEEHIANGGGG x3333333
ahahha, i just need to let the whole world know this! I LOVE BEEHIANG [:
she's the bee and i'm the honey. HAHAHA. and yes, i love her more than anything else in the world [x yayeee [x

my throat's dying.
i've been coughing.
but i have abs now [x
HAHAHA. shit lah, i want to go for obs.
rah fever, go away ]x<

you won't even know this is to you.
i still hold on to your promise, that in anything i can look for you.
but time and time again, you've let me down.
holding my hand, you said you'll go through it with me,
you do hold my hand every now and then, but then why is it,
that you never go through it with me. why do i feel that you're using me.
stop holding my hand if it's just for your pleasure. stop it.
stop making me feel like as if i'm the only one when i'm not.
it sucks, to be given false hopes. or perhaps, it's cause i think too much.

Saturday, March 03, 2007 @8:48 AM

oh dear, 39.3 degrees.
oh dear ]:

/edit
sorry aidan. i didn't mean to pang seh you ]:

only you will know this is to you.
we won't just only go to school and say hi. we won't. we'll be able to talk, we'll be able to laugh. it'll be more than that. our friendship is not just based on sms, or msn. it's more than that, isn't it?

@7:45 AM

no i don't mean it that way.
i'm not too tired, i'll never be.

no jem i'm still here, for you. come to me, when you need me. cause i don't want you to keep it in, i'm here. cause i don't want you to find that your only escape, i'm here. i don't want you to think i'm too tired for you, don't think that way. i'm here. i didn't mean that post in that way. i still think you need me, like how i need you. so please, come to me. i'm still here.

beehiang, thank you, for being there.

i'll never be too tired. cause it's not an excuse. people are important, they are. they're more important than anything else in the world, because they have emotions. we breathe, we feel. and that what makes people different. people need people, and that's why i'll never be too tired. come to me, i'll be your pillar of strength.

letting go is never easy, but i guess the question i ask is, why do you have to let go? why can't it be just a pleasent memory? [:

rawr, no voice ]:

there's nothing more comforting, than someone who's there with you. no need for words, soemtimes silence in itself is a comfort.

HAHAHA, AND THE PREVIOUS POST WAS BY GOHBEEHIANG [[[:
you always make me smile [:
no matter how down i am x3333

@7:38 AM

I LOVE CHARIS [:
don't you!

you played your part.
you've done your best.
they know you're there.
that's more than you can ever give.

don't push yourself too hard.
cos you have your limits too. [:

Friday, March 02, 2007 @10:21 PM

when will enough ever be enough to mend a broken heart?
when will enough ever be enough to bring back a smile?
when will enough ever be enough to erase a scar?
when will enough ever be enough to make someone feel loved?
when will enough ever be enough to bring back the hope in someone's life?
when will enough ever be enough to prove how much i love you guys?
when will enough ever be enough to prove that i care?
WHEN WILL ENOUGH EVER BE ENOUGH.

cause i get tired too. from giving so much. i get tired too, after all this, and no one believes me. i get tired when i try so hard and no one stops cutting. i get tired, although i really love you guys, but you're selfish ]: all of you. how about me. did it ever occur to you, i get tired too?

Thursday, March 01, 2007 @7:10 PM

askudahsxcgaskdha.
beehiang ]: where are you ]:

i'm sorry i broke my promise, i didn't mean to.
but isn't it a little too late to say sorry?
cause when i did it, i felt so alone. there was no where else to run.
i don't do it for fun, like how some others do.
i did it cause i was hurting, really hurting.
maybe there shouldn't be a reason for this, but that's my reason.
i don't want to hurt you anymore, neither do i want to feel any hurt.
maybe that's why i feel so cold, maybe that's why i feel so alone.
maybe that's why i feel so betrayed. maybe that's the reason why i did it in the first place.

i don't want to cry over you. i really don't. but i can't help it any longer.

@5:11 PM

when i needed you,
you weren't there.

i don't want to post an emo post, so i shan't post [:
but chenyi~
cheer up <3
you've got charis leong to smile at you during lesson and to give you a pat on the back [:

rachel~
must eat with me next time! make sure you eat ]:
haha.

everyone's supposed to be happy. but why is it the total opposite?

我不知道该怎么反映，该怎么和自己说会没事。
我要记得，记得要忘记。

edit/
beehiang where are you ]:
i miss you, 我想你。
thank you for everything. i just feel like i need to say thank you.
haha, for your silent comfort always [:
having you, is more than enough [:
hoho, sunday is comingg~ FOURTH IS COMING :D
爱你 [: