stop all these nonsense;
and just take a step to say i'm sorry.

rah, today was okay :D
i need to RELAX (: ahhahah, yeah (:

footdrill, everybody jia you (: tomorrow everyone has drill! so everybody jia you (:
sec twos, you guys have improved alottt (: so happy for you guys (:

evelyn! i'm so happy you joined us today (:
when you really have no one, you always have us (: we won't take you as a burden, don't worry! (: come to us whenever you need us, and we'll open up to you with open arms (: love you loads! <3

and things between you and i are not the same anymore. we're not the close friends we used to be. tell me why. cause of that one misunderstanding we can't go back to where we were? i know you're trying, and i can see. but it just ain't the same anymore. kinda sad, but what can i do

today was a bad day D:
iris knows why, bad day for me and her ):

i like footdrill (:
short post, cause i'm feeling rather tired.
goodnight (:

physics test tomorrow D:
wish me all the best, i think i'm just gna die or something.

thank you bee hiang, for your post (:
i love you loads <3

sometimes, i just don't understand how the minds of people work. it's funny.

i'm feeling very stressed, don't ask me why. i mean, cca, friends, hw, tests, social lives, everything has to be handled. and everything, is of equal improtance. no, i can't chose one over the other, it's just not me. and even if i were to chose, it'd be my friends. i know sometimes it's a stupid choice, but to me, it's just more important. i don't want to fail, don't get me wrong. but it's very hard to balance everything. it's very hard to have control over your emotions, and not letting them affect you when you study. now, i feel so restless whenever i study, like my mind's not in it at all. and in sch, i can't concentrate, nothing goes in. i almost cried in school today, but iris told me not to cry, and so i didn't. but i wonder how long more i can hold on, i wonder how long more i can be strong, not for myself, but for those whom i love.
i don't want to be someone of a burden to them, i don't want to bring them down. i have to be strong for them, to give them the courage to be strong, too. i need to be strong, it's no longer an option, it's no longer a choice, it's an expectation.

i want to take a step back and look at the whole picture, like how i used to, like how i could, but now, being stuck in this situation for so long, makes me hard. but i'll keep on trying. i know i have my God.

rescue

You are the Source of life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of You

I need you, jesus

I need You, Jesus
to come to my rescue
Where else could I go?
There’s no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

My heart is Yours for life
I need Your hand in mine
No one else will do Lord,
I put my trust in You

I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else could I go?
There’s no other name by which I am saved
Oh capture me with grace
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me
This world has nothing for me
This world has nothing for me (I will follow You)
This world has nothing for me

I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else could I go?
There’s no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

Oh I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else could I go?
There’s no other name by which I am saved
Capture me with grace

Won't You Capture me with grace
I will follow You
I will follow You
This world has nothing for me
This world has nothing for me

(:

Lord, i'll look to you for my strength, the strength i need, to get through this. cause only You can provide me with the strength that is sufficent for me. i'll look to You, cause i believe in You. You're all i need, You're really all i need now. come Lord, come and fill me. cause i'm beginning, to feel the desperation for You, once again. come Lord.

thank you joan, thank you eugene (:

thank you for listening, thank you for cheering me up.
eugene, i know i went to tuition in a terrible mood, but you still cheered me up, with your own ways.
joan, i know i seemed very happy, but when i told you, thank you for listening.

no, i'm not faking my laughter, i'm laughing when it's real. but i'm not happy. it's different. it's not pretence.

evelyn; i'm here for you <3 we are alike! (: and thus, we rock :D
sandy; my dear fellow star, all i have to say is, i love you <3

i hate those photos i just saw,
and although it breaks my heart,
i guess it just really shows how stupid i've been,
to think someday it'll work.
i guess i was stupid,
i guess it shows i should move on,
rather than allow myself to stay here,
and think that you'll come back someday.

sometimes i feel like crying to someone,
like how joan came crying to me.
i wish i had that courage.
to be able to show, how weak and scared i am inside.

huida brother, i suddenly want to talk to you, cause i need your spastic comments, right now ):

(:

show me your face oh Lord,
make my heart pure as gold.
standing in awe of you,
your love it surrounds me forever.
show me your way oh Lord,
i want to know you more.
i want to stay, right here with you,
all of my days.

(:

my dear sec twos;
you guys are improving so much, and so fast, i can't believe it. i'm really really so proud of you guys (: and you know something, i really appreciate the fact that you guys don't complain when you ask you guys to do this or that. i really appreciate it. and tomorrow's the first rehersal, i want to say, please jia you (: i've seen you guys, and i think you guys can really do it very well. so tomorrow, do your best (: don't let sandy and amanda down (: but mostly, don't let yourselves down! you've worked so hard, so let this be the time to let it pay off (: jia you, i'm behind you guys all the way <3

Everything must change
There's a mirror showing me the ugly truth
These bones they ache with holy fire
But I've got nothing to give, just a life to live

If your world is without colour
I will carry you, if you carry me, yeaah

Every little thing's gonna be alright
Every little thing's gonna be alright
Every little thing's gonna be alright
Every little thing's gonna be alright

There's no-one else to blame
I live my life between the fire and the flame
Ive built my house where the ocean meets the land
It's time to live again, pull my dreams out of the sand

Let your world be full of colour
I will carry you, if you carry me, yeah

Every little thing's gonna be alright
Every little thing's gonna be alright
Every little thing's gonna be alright
Every little thing's gonna be alright, yeah

Every little thing's gonna be alright
Every little thing's gonna be alright

When it's all falling down on you
Youre crying out but you're breaking in two
When it's all crashing down on you
When there's nothing you can do
There is someone who can carry you

Every little thing, every little thing, every little thing, is gonna be alright
Every little thing's gonna be alright (x6)

(:

every little thing's gna be alright.
i don't understand you at all, and no it's getting quite tiring to accept and love. it's getting quite hard, but i'm still trying. i'm not giving up, but i just need some time to rest.

anning said i go extremes. either damn high or damn low. maybe it's true, i don't know. but i guess sometimes i wish i could tell you guys why. oh well (:

everything's gna be alright (:

while watching the movie during LA, i heard this phrase, 'why do they never listen, when will they ever learn?' just something that i pricked my heart, a little.

(:
i don't know, i hope guides sec twos do well for your performance (: know that all seniors are behind you guys all the way.
it's heartwarming to see some of you so enthusiastic. and it's nice to see some of you volunteer for alot of things when you don't have to. and i'm rather pleased with those who sacrifice their break time to practice.
i just want to say, i'm very proud of you guys, jia you!

i love melwee :D
lol, she gave me a star today <3333
oh man, i love her i love her i love her :D
lol, but i'm not les =/

ahhaha. and i love samrae, pehlih, kelly, MELWEE, hilary, iris, jenzi, nicole, alina, samantha, rachel, etc lahhh! ((:

rahh, whee (:
jia you for everything! those in 306, jia you for IH essay (:

i haven't been talking to you much bee hiang, but i hope you stay strong (:
caues i'm your girlfriend :D
and i'm here for you forever <3

thank you jiayu for saving my life today <33333
poor you ): hope your ankle gets well soon though.
i love jiayu (:

this year hasn't been an easy year, but i think i'm pulling through strong.
because i guess, there are reasons to why i'm being strong, but some things are better left unsaid. but i'm still glad, that well, now at least i try not to let things bother me too much, and even if they do, i'll do my bes tto look on the positive side. well, i'm quite proud of where i am now, mentally. and i think i'll keep it this way, even if the whole world falls on me.

i don't know what to say to either of you, cause both of you are hurting yourselves.
and it's sad to see it end up this way, cause i know it can be so much better.

guides has taught me discipline, and that's something i really lack, something i need more. i'm glad i joined guides, and i'm glad with the friends i've made. it's something that i've never felt with anyone else before, the bond and love and the strive to do better. let's jia you, cause i think we really need to buck up. we need to work hard, for the seniors, for the juniors, for the teachers, but more importantly for ourselves. i don't think we want to get scolded every session. jia you (: we can do it, together.

when some things are lost, it's hard to ever get them back. things like trust and faith. once lost, it's hard to get it back.

/edit
thank you irwin for helping me find the bottle back (:

the work load is piling and stress is building in. and the thing about not understanding a single thing at all, is getting to be a hard fact to cope with. but i just have to deal with it, like how i try to deal keeping awake in shanshan's class. deal with it, charis.

sometimes, i feel too trusted, i'm afraid i'll let the person down. rah, what do to

you shouldn't have said that of him. sometimes i really wonder what you're thinking, and i can't figure it out. it doesn't matter if he's in normal tech, or normal aced, or whatever. you still had no right to say that of him. you have no right to judge him just cause he's in norm tech. his mind is not too simple to understand your 'complex' sentence, but it's cause he just doesn't understand you anymore. and no, you didn't have to bring dictionaries into the picture. a person is not based on how smart or clever he is, hey look, the worst person on earth was super smart, but where did he land? precisely. it's all based on the heart. and as far as i'm concerned, i think both of them have tremendously good hearts. and if really, the hurt that they've caused you is all that is filling your mind, and now you wna hurt them back, i really can't say anything. but imagine yourself in their shoes, how would you feel if someone said to you, what you said to them. i bet you'll be hurt.

they're people with good hearts, who hurt you cause they didn't want to cause you further hurt. won't you see it that way? don't ever say that of him anymore, if not i promise, i'll come and talk to you personally.

be yourself, be the kid inside of you.
(: the kids in kindy helps me realise alot of things.
how to be contended, how to be happy, with just a sweet (:
thanks kids <3 that's why i love you guys so much.

i dont' want to owe joshua anymore of what i owe him. lol. it's too hard to fufil. he made me laugh super alot today (: ahha, thank you joshua chua (:

eugene HO, i'm never ever going to sit opposite you. you made me like an idiot lah ): laughing to myself, when actually i'm laughing cause of you ): rah you lah. but i like going home with you :D i like (: ahaha. time to study eugene ho! (:

cheer up dear, you're right, break it, with no regrets! and i'll keep my promise, here forever for you. so you can continue to rant, and continue to swear, it's alright (: i understand <3

irwin, i want my chos, speakers, and ice cream :D
thank you iris for helping me buy the books! <3
thank you bee hiang and yenjin for helping me with the worksheet! (:
thank you for all those who made me smile today (:

went to church, and realised eugene was outside alone ): aidan left him outside, how mean. so i went ouside to accompany him. lol, he really loves red. contacts are red, earing is red, earpiece also red. lol, but he's nice (: he was super shy and awkward. lol. he kept wanting me to go back in D: i felt so unwanted. rah. but too bad, i'm more stubborn than him (: chickens were noisy, lol. eugene are you reading this! i bet the chickens are still making noise, now. lol. hope you come back to church sometime (: don't have to go in if you feel uncomfortable, i'll stay outside with you (: and you still owe me ice cream (x

love church, cause i feel comfortable there,

i realised, i'm not the same as anybody. i'll sit out there, with him, even if that means that i may get scolded, cause i don't want him to feel alone. it's a bad testimony, in my view. and i don't know, i wouldn't just go in and leave someone there, alone outside. esp when he ain't close to God and well, it's just not very nice. sometimes, we should live and behave the way we want others to behave. i don't think anyone would want to be left alone outside alone. and though i got scolded, i think it's alright. at least we laughed, and i think it beats him sitting outside alone listening to his ipod.
and it's different, cause i respect the trust people have in me. i'm just to different, that sometimes i don't wish to be me. but no, i can't do that. cause this world needs some love.

malcolm and huida always brighten my day with their calls (:
thank you guys, loads.

i wrote you a letter to tell you,
how much i love and miss you.
but i picked it up, crumpled it and threw it away.

not wanting to hurt you any further,
not wanting to see you sad,
i picked up the paper and threw it away

i see you, laughing on the roads,
and i wanted to go up and pass you that slip of paper,
but i picked up the paper and threw it away.

for i don't want to see you sad anymore,
i picked up the paper, crumpled it, and threw it away.

to those who really are feeling down, just remember that there's a reason for everything (: remember that ___, you don't have to go to punching bags to make yourself feel better. just remember that YOUR God, has a plan for you. and whatever you're going through it for your good. (: and till then, if you ever need to rant, i'm here. i know you can't open up to me, but it's okay. i'll be here to crap, and cheer you up. cause you were a great friend when i was in need, i'll be here for you <3

in you, in you i find my peace,
in you, in you i find my strength.
in you, i live and move and breathe.
let everything i say and do, be founded by my faith in you.

empathy?

iris and sandy, cheer up love (:
whatever it is bothering you (:
cause in the end, i'm sure you guys will make it through (:
don't give up, don't be sad, cause i miss your smiles,
that bring me to the end.
so don't let that smile dissapear, cause i love you guys <3

18/01/07
today marks the day that you've been gone for 2 years.
today, i woke up and remembered you. i told myself that i'd not cry today, and i'd try my best not to get affected. before school, i tried my best. and in school, i did too. i succedded, well, half way through. but when i laughed so hard, and i stopped, the emptiness came all right back in, and i started to tear. i felt so embarassed, i felt so ashamed. not of you, but of myself. i couldn't control, i couldn't do anything about it. cause you seem like you were just here yesterday, you seem like you were just right here. and i can feel your arm right on my lap, and your moustache kissing me goodnight. i can feel your love and care, and i can feel your very warmth. i thought it was just yesterday, but it's been two years. two years has passed so fast without you, and sometimes i think that things would be so much better with you around. to be able to stay with you and sleep in your house on fridays. for you to bring me to the supermarket to buy whatevr i want. these cheap thrills, i remember, and i want them back. sometimes, thinking of you makes me smile, but today it made me cry. i wish you were still here with me, i miss your big tummy. but most of all, i miss your love, i miss how you said 'i love you'. i miss every part of you. sometimes i wish you'd come back, but i know it isn't possible. sometimes i wonder if you've gone to heaven, and i just can ponder, nothing else. grandpa, these two years, i just want to tell you i love you, and i haven't forgotten you, and you're such a living memory in my mind. i love you, and i hope you're happy in heaven.

sorry tablemates, i must have been a real horror to sit next to cause i was so irritable D:

i miss you, grandpa. wish you were here.


everything in it's time

Sometimes i wonder what lies ahead
How long til my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
so many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer
To get through it all

I just fall on my knees and i try to pray
in the silence i can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like that i'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
why i should give up
But i'm stubborn in the things i believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One i still cant see
A little surprise, like your love in your life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to the patience and watch for the sign

Everything in its time
Everything in its time
(:

it's a nice song, and go to hilary's blog to look at pictures :D
http://mymeltedlove.blogspot.com/ (:
yay, melwee always looks sad D: but still, i think she's cute ((:
lol, if she sees this, i think i'm gna die D: but oh well :D freedom of speech!

i hope that you guys understand

rah. my previous precious post is not to you lah my dear (:
it's to someone else, i promise!
i love you so much lah! i won't criticize you ((:
take care okay! make sure you see the doc as promised, BY TODAY! if not i'll chew off your head tomorrow! rah, i'm a scary dinosaur (:

i think i'm sleeping too late now a days. let's cut down on phone time! charis leong needs her beauty sleep :D
but huida, is hilarious. stupid pang sai, he fooled me, i always thought he was super quiet, till ytd ._.

lol. and you if you wna join potential, i think you should (: i mean, well yeah. it's worth a try. for all you know, it may bring you closer to God (: whee, all the best deciding my dear! (:

hm i think this is about it (:
oh get well soon nicole (: hope the cut didn't hurt that bad ): get well soon (:

i think i like mondays. they're slack days! ((:

i have alot to post about :D

okayyy. i went with joan to city harvest church ytd (: rah, although i think the people there are very nice, but i didn't really agree with the way the do things, and the message and, well yeah. i don't really like the way they dress too. i mean, to church? rah, i don't know (: it doesn't matter! but i think joan's friend's cell group was super nice (: they're really nice people, and really funny. lol. sorry joan, i couldn't join you for dinner ):

anyway, when i got home, rah, i talked to eugene lim and aidan on the phone. lol, at first i didn't know how to conference lahh! ): rah, but now i know :D and eugene was super funny. LOL. he now owes me ice cream too, for who knows what reason. LOL. so we talked and talked and talked, while i was waiting for malcolm to call me ._. and he didn't call me D: at least now until around 1. rah. so yeah, talking to aidan and eugene was fun, but it put me to sleep. like, i kept falling asleep on the floor. but when malcolm called i was totally awake. how gay. lol.

here's a list, alfi, eugene lim and irwin owes me ice cream (:
and irwin, owes me 4 bars of chocolate (:
yes, i remember! so keep your promises (:

so i talked to malcolm about some stuffs till pretty late, and yeah, slept at around 3 ):

and thennn, oh today i woke up at 8 ._. it's super sad lah. 5 hours of sleep. lol, i had to wake up cause i haven't finish tuition zuo wen D: rahaha, so i guai-ly woke up to do (: and i finished ittt (: after like two and a half hours. LOL.

ah and tuition was gay. EUGENE HO, NEXT WEEK I'M NOT SITTING OPPOSITE YOU ANYMORE. you're super gay lah, wah lao. i don't like youuu. hurmpf. you cannot keep your legs to yourself right. have to keep purposly stepping on people's feet, keep kicking, LOL, and keep EW, i don't even know how to describe it. LOL. and my poor paper D: i'm not gna sit opposite you ever again. RAH. i love tuition! (:

more homeworkkk. okay i think i got to do proposals and homework! (:
oh ps, thank you BEE HIANG for cheering me up that day ((: rah, thank you boyfriend (:

toodles everyone (:

jeron, although i guess you really don't wna stay in megalife with us, for who knows why, i guess you just should really go, cause we can't keep you back if your heart's not here. it's sad, and i'm really sad that you have to leave, but i guess i shouldn't hold you back anymore. but jeron, just remember, in anything, megalife always has a heart for you, and we'll always be your family. in anything that Hope church can't give, and you really need it, come back to us. we'll always be here for you. you'll always be a part of us, forever. so just remember, that if one day you ever want to come back, we'll receive you with open arms. i'll miss you my crappy friend. so much. but i guess, it's time to let go. ):

if only you'll start to believe in yourself, and realise that those people are not worth your time cause there are so many people who actually love you for who you are. i know you have some inferioty complex or something, and i can understand. but sometimes, i just really don't understand why you let it get to you so much. i mean, you can look at it from two ways. and i already tried to tell you, but you aren't listening. i mean, you can rant, i don't mind. but at least take something away from the conversation. think about what i said, at least. whatever other people say, you let it affect you. but you yourself know that you didn't do it, so why be so bothered by it. i really don't understand you sometimes, and as much as i want to be there to keep encouraging and supporting you, it's getting tiring. cause you're not even realising what i've been trying to say all these while. when will you understand that, the most blessed thing is to have people to really love you. tell me when.

"living up to expectations", that was something i heard today. and well, i really wish i could live up to your expectations, but sometimes it's really hard. i would live up to it, if i could. but thing is, we're not all trying. we had lunch prac, well some of us. we're actually really trying to be living up to expectations, cause frankly, i do want to do well, i do want to get somewhere in this cca. and i used to like the talks we had, one to one, where we got encouragement, and when there was a time we could laugh with you guys. but now, it seems like there's such a big gap. i can't remember when was the last time you smiled at me. i can't remember when was the last time we ever joked with each other. i really don't remember. i miss the times when we held you in respect, but it didn't have to mean being so seperated. i wish to live up to expectations, but sometimes, i just really miss the friendship we all once had.

i hope you're feeling better now. cause i really hate to see you upset.

dale, thank you for calling me last night. although it was really short, i guess i really miss talking to you. i really am grateful to have a cell leader like you, cause sometimes, well, at least to me, you're the only one who calls to catch up, who calls to ask how's things. and sometimes, i feel like you're the only one who really understands. and you're the only one who will share your life with me, your experiences too. i mean, well maybe that's the advantage of being older, i don't know. but i just really miss having someone there. oh well (: rah, thank you (:

forgive and forget, and don't take things to heart. i think, sometimes that's really just all you can do.

sorry for screwing up your com bee hiang ):

rah, happy birthday sandy ((:
I LOVE YOU LOADS (: and i appreciate everythng about you :D esp when you blogged a post for me! i remember (: and it really touched me ((: cause not many people post for me D: yeah, so i'll always remember that! did you like your "surprise" today! LOL, i owe you a present (: promise i'll get you one asap! i love you loads darling!

hm and happy birthday earnest too (:
i don't remember your number and i lost it, so gah, i can't wish you ): but still, i hope you have a happy birthday (:

hm, today was alright i guess (:
ytd jolene's party, i think i went high =/
LOL, i ended up chasing chinwen all over the classroom with a metre ruler. lol, that was funny (:
thank you jolene's parents for fetching me home :DD

RAHH. sec three is stressfull ): it's been so long since i had free time D: oh well it's okay! i'm gna be hardworking this year :D i don't care how hard, i'm gna be guai (: yeah, pay attention in class, hand in homework on time, no more rolling eyes *tsk*, and just be guai (: it's one of my new year resolutions. oh yah, and not to fail anything. ((:

okay back to homework (:
i love guides sec three 07 + jolene (:
i love 306 07' (:
i love 210 06' (:
i love 7 of us (:
i love hilary (:
i love jenzi (:
i love iris (:
i love bee hiang (:
whee, i love almost everybody :D

306, we're getting closer (: and i think, it's a very good start (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOLENE (:
i love jolene (:


Happy birthday Jolene! (: we all want to wish you a very happy birthday. You know, we all really really miss you. And we all were actually really upset when you left ): but well, at least now we know how much you mean to us. You really bring joy and laughter to all of us (: like how you say your funny comments, when you don’t even know they’re funny. And you’re always so nice, volunteering to do stuff for us, even when you don’t really have to. Thank you Jolene (:
And I remember the time when we stayed back to do sub camp gateway. It was really funny, to have you around. And you know Jolene, I think you can draw real well (: your easy going personality makes it so easy to get along with you, and it just makes us really want you with us, in everything we do. Every now and then, with every cca session, we’ll think of you (: and wonder what it’ll be like with you still around.
Oh well, we shouldn’t hold on to the past. (: and so now, we’re wishing you all the best in victoria junior college (: I guess the first few days must have been difficult, knowing no one there. But well, we’re here to say that we’re all with you, in heart and spirit (: with you, all the way. Even when you feel lonely, we’re right here thinking about you and missing you. And you’ll be a part of our everyday life. Jolene, things may seem difficult now and then, but remember that we’re here for you and we love you, and we miss you, and we care for you and we always think about you. When things start to get stressful, remember that we’re here supporting you, with all that we can in silence. We’ll always pray for you, we’ll always wish the best for you. Remember, we’re all under the very same stars, and I promise we’ll be here wishing under the stars for the best we can for you. So when the road gets tough, we’ll be here for you. We’ll be there, holding your hand, and we’ll go through it right with you. We won’t be up, helping pull you up. We won’t be down, pushing you up. But we’ll be right beside you, holding your hand, going through the same thing right with you (: we’ll hold your hand forever, and we’ll never let go, cause you mean so much to us, and we’ll never forget how much joy you’ve brought to us.
Jolene, we hope you will always remember us, like how we promise to always remember you. We will always remember your smile, your encouragements, your sporting-ness, your love, your friendship, and everything you’ve given to us. We hold it deeply in our hearts, cause you’ve left such a great impression. Jolene, we love you, and we are right here for you (: IN EVERYTHING (:
Today’s your special day, and we want to say happy birthday. Our one wish for you, is to always be happy. And do what you want to do, achieving what you can. And when you don’t succeed, we hope you remember we’re all here for you. That’s our birthday wish for you (: happy birthday jolene. We all love you, all of us. All the sec2 06’, we all love you <3
Friends forever, batchmates forever, guides forever! Happy birthday jolene (: lovelovelovelove; guides batch sec 2 06’

:D

thanks eugene HO (:
lol, all eugene-s are nice, i conclude (: well, i think i really have to thank eugene. cause he's always been there. always comforting, and always understanding. but yet at the same time he knows how to talk sense into me and he knows how to encourage him. sometimes, i don't know where i'd be, without him. his constant friendship has proved so true. and i'm really thankful i have a friend like him, that i'll treasure forever. thank you, cause you know me so well, my moods, my thinking, my everything. thank you, eugene. for everytime i cried, you didn't say anything, but i know you were there. thank you. you've been a friend, that i'll never forget. i'm glad i have you, to see me through. thank you for your sms-es, for your tags, for your smiles and for everything. for making me laugh everytime i see you, regardless of how i'm feeling, i really have to thank you. you're one person, who ALWAYS makes me smile (: thanks dear! i'm truly thankful and grateful for someone like you. continue to spread the love, and one day it'll come back to you too :D friends forever!
ps/ thanks for still sms-ing me even though you exceed already (: i really really, appreciate it. <3

oh man, i feel so touched (:

i didn't know i need a right to care,
or just to know. i thought it was just something i could do.
oh well. i hope in time you come, you realise what's best for you, i can't tell you anymore, nor can i dictate what you can or cannot do. so oh well. i do hope you take care. and i just thought that, maybe if one day you ever really want to quit, then i just want you to know, i'll be the happiest person on earth. sincerely happy.

anyway, thanks eugene lim for letting me rant on you (: it's nice to have a friend like you (: thank you :D with all your haha, and bahaha, and rahaha, and like possibly everything on the keyboard (: thanks dear (:

first day of tuition, and i guess it was alright (:
i miss everyone lah (: so so much.

gah, no one's online.
i shall go do some math :D

i'm not the kind who can take scolding anymore-
if i can't do anything anymore, i give up. although i never wanted to, cause i really loved you. regardless of how much you doubt those three words.
there's church today, i hope i can go for cell or area gathering, or whatever it is today.
see you there joan and rachel and shawn and dale, hopefully.

i'm happy :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

thanks for the catching up :D
i really missed you alot! (:

gah, i'm sick ): i wna go to sch! i wna go for cca orientation! ))))))))))): oh someone save me from this misery. and those thinking about me, stop thinking about me! cause i don't wna sneeze anymore ): rah, this is annoying!

malcolm and eugene, i hope your hair grows back :D lol, it's funny. their hair got cut off by the dms =/ LALALA. cheer up malcolm! (: at least you have oswald to cut his hair with you (: can't wait to see you tomorrow! (x

letting go; and moving on.
i think, this is something never really easy to do. letting go of something we had for 2 years, nah it won't be easy. but thing is, twoten, we're not letting go. twoten will always be a very alive thing in our hearts. yes it may be difficult to adjust to our new classes, but hey, we have to try. it's only the second day man, we can't give up yet. no i mean, we can never give up. bee hiang, i know it's hard on you, but you can't give up. no you can't. you just have to prove to mr han, even more, that you're not what he thinks you are. understand? you can't let him have his way anymore, you have to prove to him darling (: don't you see how much tenners still love and care for you? we're all encouraging you, behind you all the way. so pls, don't be sad anymore. cause i'm sure it hurts us all, to see you like that. at least, i'm super sad ): so pls, tenners (: let's all be strong, and move into our new class, and be the shining lights for twoten (: tell everyone, in the wholewideworld, this is what twoten is made off, strong people (: jia you twoten06 (: we can do it, perserverance, resiliance (:
we'll all miss twoten, but at the same time, we have to look forward <3

since i have time now, with nothing to do at home,
JERON COME TO CHURCH TOMORROW! (:
lol, you have to alright! cause we all miss you like nuts (: whole of central two :D

and er, i have to say thank you to aidan, for listening to me rant these few days. and letting me vent my anger on him =/ i can hear the difference in mood after i finish ranting. he gets like more upset and stuff. sorry. i promise never to rant on you again.

i miss jenzi chua :D my coffin mate! (:
i miss bee hiang :D my boyfriend! (:
i miss iris :D
i miss hilary :D
i miss 7ofus :D

i miss everyone :DDeverything will be fine charis, you just have to hold on, and be the person you always were. smile, and be fine. let the whole world see, and let them know, that you're fine.

well, school's started (:
and i guess it's all great. things will all work out, if i have faith. and bee hiang, it'll work out for you too :D

anyway! bee hiang's my boyfriend now :D
and i'll stick by her no matter what (:

i hope things are all doing great with everyone (:
i won't be blogging as much now. sorry (:

i love bee hiang (:
cheer up love <3

new year's here (:

and i'm back :D
i think, well, it's not worth getting all upset and stuff, for who knows what reason. but most of all, well, it's all thanks to area gathering on saturday. i think it made me realise, some things. esp the song, which made me cry. (:

complete

here i am, oh god.
i bring this sacrifice
my open heart, i offer up my life
i look to you, Lord
your love that never ends
restores me again

so i lift my eyes to you lord
in your strength will i break through Lord
touch me now, let your love fall down on me
i know your love dispels all my fears
through the storm, i will hold on Lord
and by faith i will walk on Lord
then i'll see, beyond my calvary one day
and i will be complete in you (:

and they talked about faith. (:
and i like this verse alot, which is printed on ns area tshirt :D
i have fought the good fight, i have finished the race, i have kept the faith (:
2 timothy 4:7

lol, and after area gathering, that was gay. lol, the first time i ever RAN AWAY, from area gathering. lol, joan you know :D

i'm rather sad that shawn and rachel and dale and jason are leaving ): like really really super sad ): so i shall write something for them :D although i know rachel and dale and jason most likely won't see it.

shawn; thank you shawn for everything this year and maybe last year too. knowing you is a great blessing. the joy you bring to my face, with your laughter, with your sneeze during servivce, with your spasticness. they all really bring a smile to my face. your faith is strong, and sometimes i really admire it, keep it going! and well, thanks for all the food man :D lol. i really wish you would stay, but you shouldn't. we should want what's best for you (: so move on to jc area and grow your faith (: well, i'll miss you loads, and i'll still say it even if you hate it, i love you. i love shawn the prawn (: keep the faith, run the race!

rachel; man, though i know we haven't known each other for long, but well, yeah. i'll still miss you lots andi love you lots and lot. we had so much fun together man, like hiding joan's shoe. LOL. and well yeah. though we're not that close, like suoer close or something, but well, i really hope you continue to shine for God. (: and i'm sure he's so proud of you, for everything you've did your best for Him (: rachel my dear! i love you so much! thank you for everything, the presents, the love, the friendship. i'll miss you. i'm missing you already ): i love you babe! keep the faith, run the race!

dale; i remember there was just this one period of time where i used to rant to you, alot. and you'd just listen. you'd even call me, to advice me. and you know, it really touched me, cause you really cared. though i don't know what really happened after that, you got kinda irritated or something, but well, still thank you. cause you really helped me alot. you listened, you cared and you helped me alot. thank you. and thank you for the prayer on the week when i cried really badly. thank you so much, for that shoulder too. i really really appreciate it. i'll miss you too (: keep the faith, run the race!

jason; thank you for being always oh so lame :D which make cell sometimes so enjoyable, so crappy. lol. thank you for always smiling at me :D and thank you for always making it a point to try to talk to me, when no one does. thank you alot, jason. small little things you do, really tell me lots of things. and yeah, i'll miss you (: keep the faith, run the race!

ns area, central 2 cell, will always be (:
cause friendships last forever, if the Lord is the Lord of them (:

yesterday was fun :D
i got mina's present. i esp like the note, although nothing much, but i still really like it. cause well, mina has NEVER written me a note ): lol. but that's what makes it all so special (:thank you darling!
and thank you bianca! for the nice bottle :D i like the sotong. lol, really looks like, er me. LOL. thankyou dear (:
thank you trish for the nice nice er wasabi thing! and oh oh, get well soon alright love!
and thank you cher, for letting us messup your house! lol.

and bianca intoduced me nice songs (:
sad songs, lol, i like :D

i'll really miss 7ofus (:
but ah heck, we'll always be together (:

and i'm sure, ytd, we all missed cheryl :D
lol, no one forgot about her! I'M SURE!

eh and stupid aidan has been making me lose sleep. calling so late, and talking so much. and i'm tired! BOO ):

okay, i think that's all (: i shall post new year resolutions some other time (:
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE (: